take me away from this journey
i am trapped in the land of placelessness
blind / hypnotized
route 36 / bolivia
deaf / treated with ultrasound
simultaneously
scarcely knowing
what all that means
i am feeling the rising of blood
a wave of heat like sandstorms
inevitability: willful / knowing / aware
i am putting myself at risk of dying
long ago i read about the risks and consequences
of my ******* abuse
pervaded them intellectually while
my heart remains deafly because
of *******
bitter
sear
aflutter and in panic
there is just:
one life
one heart
one body one man
man what are you doing?!?!
i am hollering into my inner
embracing the envelope
obsessed over bitterness
numb love
in the dungeon of plotted heavens
lofty as never before
is where i am running away from:
every day
in the 1920s there was a man
who they called "koks-emil"
he sold ******* in the nightstreets of berlin
the national archive has been keeping
a picture of him doing business with
two girls out of gangland we
can't see the face of the one standing left only
her back
however her companion typifies precisely
what the drug creates in our souls:
a form that can not be imitated
like the effect of the drug
a form of longing and greed in the
girl's face
longing and greed
balancing each other
not one of
these states predominates
while beholding the girl i am becoming
horridly conscious
about myself
horridly about
my relationship with *******
my affair with *******
my love to ******* this
sounds sick?
indeed it is
we call it
suffering from an addiction
we call it
suffering from a dependency
become clean.
i wish you willpower
wish you strong luck
wish you peace at last
the rate of relapsing
******* users is vast
during the night
when the wind is
breezing mildly
when the stones of the cities
are breathing out the heat of the day
while you are
sneaking over the streets
while every street corner resembles
the very one where
koks-emil used to sell his product
while you are sensing the smell
of bitterness
while you are being preoccupied with
her face: her longing her greed
while you are experiencing
yourself:
more deeply
more soberly
and more knowingly
as before
while you
are reaching out your hands searching
with kidfingers for koks-emil
the guy with the warped corner of the mouth
the reliable / greedy one
the one who is always ready
a salesman has to be available for
every second of your longing
every second of your greed
koks-emil: your world is made of black and white
your hat is grey its bonnet is vanishing as your
shivering hands
hands that spread capsules
hands that grap at bills
hands that you use to brush away your sweat
**** between the lipps
shabby coat
koks-emil your spirit
blows through inner cities like gas fumes
a grin on your face coming from
lurid lights
you became immortal
you underwent rapid decades
you were an addict
you created addicts
you served addicts
the ****** expression of the girl
your child-like customer
remains for
all for everybody with a
*******-addiction
for all and for everybody
who depends on *******
for all and everybody
who is clean from *******
for all and everybody:
longing and greed
rest in peace girl
Based on true events.
Today is a good day.
