Some nights into the fantasy  world I sink ,
Eyes closed as I visualize you each second ,
The shape of your body-
your sensitive skin.

Lost in your eyes,
I stretch my hand and pull you closer,
Your body against mine,
Our lips touch,
Our tongues entangled,
The soft and slow moans fill our room,
As we dance to the music of our sweet sounds,

From a far-
we can  hear our heartbeats,
as our souls sync.

Into the wilderness we fly,
If this love is a sin ,
why does it feel so pure
and holy  loving you?

i guess i’m a hopeless romantic.
want to buy petty little things
to see a crack in his pretty smile

want to pick buttercups for him
so i can see the glow on his face
yellow, radiant, much like him

on a summers night drinking
cheap beer and kissing him
knowing his taste over *****

in his bed listening to his
billy joel and nirvana cds
not noticing them playing but

his green eyes piercing my soul
as he side eyes me and smirks
laying in my arms warm embrace

love too hard
love too fast
retrograding, venus repeating paths
my mindset too vast
stuck in the past
my scope is revealing all i already had
to be grateful is to be able
to heal from the cracks
to connect and mend
learning to swallow the bad

to my future lover,
to my future boy,
to my future love of my life and the like.

we haven't met yet,
and i'm not sure if we will,
but i'm willing to ask you a few questions of mine.

promise you'll be gentle?
promise you'll be kind?
promise you'll be loyal, mine and only mine?

i hope it's not too much,
i hope i'm not too much,
i hope you're okay with those requirements of mine,
i hope you're okay with holding me in your arms,
to drown,
to melt,
to snuggle in every inch of them.

please be gentle,
please be honest,
please be kind,
please be mine.

always, with undying love,
yours, sammy.

i wonder what his hair feels like
as i comb through them with my fingertips

or how his skin feels, my dopamine spikes
when he traces down my spine, lips on lips

or maybe his breath on mine as i kiss him
just after he brushed his teeth, minty

could it be his guiding hands on my limbs?
as he looks so sweet and divine.

you can’t see me in your future
you can only see me if your present
should i accept this as blessing?
he will see it in time, my shine
my brillant blues draped across the sky
my wings meeting the sunlight
do you dream of me at night?
plagued by nightmares of you leaving my side
skipping away for a dusk ride
tripping over some new type
i want to fulfill, i want real
i want to understand how you feel
i want to help you stay still
deep breaths while the tears flow
rivers and oceans full
i let you in to my soul, still wasn’t enough
wasn’t enough for you to know
whether you wanted it or not
said you cared but it feels like you are stringing me along
wanting for my confidence to kick in
for the ending of my swan song

i tried to be perfect, still trying hard
you make me feel undeserving
still trying hard, trying the hardest
i am too far now, the farthest
planted seeds in the winter
of course there was no harvest
my mind is too good at being honest
the linchpin, my fondness

period period go away
i do not need you
for i am gay

period period back again
why are you here
i am a man

period period my stomach doing twirls
i cant get pregnant
i **** girls.

i whisper secret sweet rhyme onto his skin
resting in his bed while the light is dim
i listen to his slow, rhythmic breathing
and know i’ll be seething when
he’s not mine

i’ll get him one day
one day ill be with him
he’s been with me since day one
and i want to see him atleast one time a day