i don't think you can look at me like that
i don't think you can come close to me
and look at my mouth before you lean down to kiss it
like that
and say that i'm your friend
do not claim me to be your only "friend" in this town
i am not your friend

if i was your friend i wouldn't get down on my knees for you
just to hear you moan about how good i am

if i was your friend the only time you'd be taking my shirt off would be never
do not claim me to be your friend
if we're going to touch each other
and love on each other
in the ways that we do
i am not just your "friend"

So what is it then?
Do you miss the sun or the moon?

She is your sun full of shine and everyday begins with her
I am your moon that you look for every night

So what is it then?

She gives you a kiss that brings a smile to your lips
I give you a kiss that makes you come back for more

So who do you miss more, the sun or the moon?
What I really mean is, who do you want more?

The thing is, you already have the sun

But for some reason you still want the moon

Last Night was fun
But the next day you were a stranger
Upon this relationship we made no promises but a warning wouldve been nice
             Why do you need more than one?            Why couldn't I suffice ?
Your phone is going to explode if you keep collecting numbers  Pretty boy please dont make me me feel dumber
Lets pretend were more than friends so I can make myself feel better

You were never
Anything more to me
Than a cigarette break
Chased by a shot of cheap whiskey

my fighter, did anyone tell you
you have a penchant for taming things
be it weapon or woman
or animal
I am your pet
but strange how you never thought of me as that
I know you wanted to put a collar on me
but held back
you are gentle, sweet-tempered with pets
the only part of you I identify with
is the savage you in battle
observation of hands
can’t think about your hands for too long
or I start getting goosebumps
all the weapons you’ve embraced
all the women intimate with your skin
did you notice I changed my earrings
after you said studs would flatter me well
for a while I wanted to please you
then I faltered, feared and fled
my soldier, did anyone tell you
my mind was enthralled by you
but my heart forever wavered
always wondered of the danger you posed
and whether I had the capacity to commit
for being fond of me
you were a tragedy
to the world you were just a martyr
for me you were tragic romantic
you asked me why I could never look you in the eye
I’d been meaning to ask
what did you see in me
and why did you take me in
I could never be sure
if your affection was founded only on pity
I’ll admit I feared you
because I could never comprehend
how you thought about me
or what it was you wanted
you looked at my apprehension, said
“it’s okay I’ll wait”
instead I waited
to see if there would come a moment
of sudden “oh she’s not the one”
if I could see into your mind
perhaps I could have helped you untangle
the mess you felt for me
my warrior
fighting to the death for many things
I will never turn to you
like flower face to sun
I will never run to you
like tamed canine runs to man
when they ask me I will tell them
when you stroked me you were gentle
but so magnificent in your rage

this is not the path I wanted to go
this is not how I wanted us to grow
I’ve been down this path once before to know
this is the feeling of tumbling down a rabbit hole
what have I done
or rather, what have I let happen
I said I wanted us to stay pure please
please don’t push me down the rabbit hole I said
you don’t know how hard it was for me
to find my way out the first time
and you don’t know I haven’t been home since
haven’t smoothened out creases in this rumpled white dress
haven’t found how removing these stains work
and yet, here I am, again
you know, mud stains on this white lace seem fitting
you took my hand and led me down the aisle
an aisle I knew I’d walked before
I recognised the rotting leaves
the trees that seemed to wail “you should leave”
I knew soon we would arrive at the rabbit hole
I never pushed you away, only said please
white rabbit,
I should’ve known you were the white rabbit
entranced by pocket watches only counting hours
ticking off seconds and watching time closely
this is the hour you will take me by the hand
this is the minute I fall for you
this is the split second before I say “I do”
white dress, you chose this for me, white rabbit
just to see at the altar how I would look in white but sullied
“I still can’t believe how you look next to me,
just like a ******* bedroom scene”
we used to be so decent
mud stains, creases, the only things sincere about me right now
white rabbit, you knew the exact moment I would fall
down the rabbit hole
again

You were always the type for hit it and quit it, i don't know why i thought this time would be any different.
I caused you a lot of stress,
and you stayed ******* with my head
But eventually you wore me down and i just gave in.
I experienced so many firsts with you, all in the same two hour time frame
But once i gave my virginity to you, you stopped replying to my messages.
It wasn't a big deal to me, i just wish you'd be real with me.
This message has been on 'read' since the day that it happened, when all i was asking was if you'd want it to happen again.
It was a fun time tho, so thanks for that i suppose.  
I just wish you'd stop being such a ******* head **** and let me know what your true intentions are.

A year of silence, then suddenly "I missed you"
becomes heated, frantic whispers of
"just as friends though, right?"
in blacked out rooms.
Where trembling fingers grasp
shaking legs
and every "is this okay?" is a safe haven
and occasionally an escape.
Sometimes no feelings is easier to stomach
than reality
Because loneliness is a sickness
that can be cured by everyone and no one,
and pretending that every touch
means just a little something more,
might somehow save your life.

Time for a puppet show
It's been a few months
But still remember
How to play your strings