Now I am gone; think of me and smile.
Think of all the good times we had;
how I made you laugh;
what fun we had;
and what love we shared.
You may cry at my funeral, but let it be brief.
For every time you think of me;
think of me and smile.

Losing someone you love is something that you will never get over
Having to create a new normal
Get used to their body's not being here, but being six feet under
How is the weather so beautiful during the services, but my head is filled with depression?
The world looks so beautiful and full of opportunity, but looks is just an illusion.
The world feels empty now, my heart feels like a piece of it has just disappeared.
And I am now laughing at there being opportunities, because there are no more opportunities for the one under the ground.

I,
have spent  
the last  
three hours  
crying.

My eyes sting
and my entire
face feels like
this dull yet
numb pain
that I couldn’t
compare to anything
other than a gunshot wound.  

Each time my  
heart beats without you it
sounds like a loud
boom.

Maybe because
there’s a
hole in my heart
that I try to fill
with memories of
things that I did for you,
all the compassion
and trust you placed in me.

All the times
I got to hold you,
feel your heartbeat against mine,
see you take each breath and
relax into me.

There are
memories we
have that I  
will never forget.
Each memory
placed in a tear
which I’ll keep
in a little glass bottle
with your name written on it.

I wish your
last memories
were never filled with pain
that you could have been  
graced with dignity not
suffering - I
wish I could have helped you.

Maybe if I looked  
into the warning signs,
read a little more online,
maybe if I looked you and
cared for you just
a little bit more -

I wouldn’t
have to carve your  
name  
into
a stone.

A little boy stand there,
withering away in grief.
It wasn't his fault.
He didn't know,
That it was here time...
Her time to go.
Will the boy ever love?
Will he ever see the sun again?
On a dark day like this,
There was no sun.
No light,
Only darkness,
And the cold reminder of the sound of a gun.
There was no way of stoping it,
For the bullet was too strong.
Yet,
The boy still griefs over what can not be undone.

I feel a tear drop on my hand, next to yours.
I'm sorry for what you feel, wish I could heal your pain.
At first, I didn't experience any sadness, nor thoughts came to mind, but then I realized,
Something had not been right all this time,
Something felt off, like you've changed.
I guess overthinking gets you out your head,
Cause' my memory was shot out of my mind when you told me she's dead.
Looking into your eyes from afar, they got all teary and filled.
My heart fell out my chest, prayers laced in my brain,
My arms were drawn low to the ground, legs tied in a knot.
I knew that you were feeling some sort of way,
and I apologize for all the change,
Everything will heal in time, it's all going to be okay I say for constant reassurance,
But, you covered your face,
Cried endlessly, tears splattered on the sleeves of your arms,
Holding your head tightly and gradually bringing it down,
Moving your body from side to side.
Through the blurry vision of mine, I let out a loud sigh.
There's a lump in my throat that I cannot control and out the corners of my eyes, I noticed your glare.
I'll leave you be my fellow friend, just know
I felt your hurt too when you expressed every detail that slipped from your mouth.
It's all going to become better now, do well son I pronounce and take care of yourself.
Do it for the family, do it for me,
Allow every moment to last greatly.