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Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2020
Do I still take your breath away or has that power expired?
Leave me to my own devices because I’m growing tired
And for a little while you lead me to believe you’re done
Until the moment I start losing interest in which direction your feet run
And I say I no longer care but we both know it isn’t true
Honestly I do not give a ****...
About anything except you
The only thing ricocheting against my set of bones
Is your name bouncing like drumsticks on xylophones
For once I get to perform our song
Music to my lonely ears
Skeleton an instrument producing every note brain hears
Have my mutilated perception record melody
When finished play it over so I can sing off-key
And leave on your doorstep to remind you of what we had
When I am done realize I still feel just as sad
And screams bottled up press on the walls of my insides
Threatening to expose the place heartache hides
Slide shapeless secrets even deeper down the *****
Drowning damaged moments in a mess of distraction and dope
One
Two
Three
I count numbers to ground racing thoughts
Break the anxious flow in a failed attempt to untangle mental knots
I will go to extreme lengths to relieve madness in my mind
Waiting for comfort desperately needed but can never seem to find
And my own flesh torments with mocking memories
Using tattooed ink for leverage to ridicule and tease
A traitor amongst body parts equally writhing in despair
Breath inhaling solitude coursing through the stagnant air
Lifeless eyes exhausted from overwhelming cruelty they view
You put up careful facades but ******* is easy to see through
X-rays of faithful adoration reveal commitment a disguise
Well-rehearsed remorse when stripped is nothing more than lies
And crumpled promises fill the trash can with empty words you said
Same old disappointment cuts
Blood staining hands bright red
Stomach full of excuses violently crammed down my throat
Those plus dead butterflies swell causing my tummy to bloat
My heart now lies in throbbing pieces scattered across bottom of my soul
In the exact spot you used to reside within my chest is now an unfathomable hole
This one needed to get out of my broken *** heart
Jameson Blackmay Dec 2020
She said one thing
I tried to be funny
I laughed
she said *******
I laughed

Who's the childish one..?
basil Dec 2020
i wanted to write about
how my fingernails take off my skin at night
or how i leave bruises in places i hate

i still want to scream about how i don't use knives, anymore
and tell you all the lies that let me get away with my own
self destruction

all these scars that have explanations
i'm nearly exploding
and the words will surely splatter on the wall



but i don't want you to mistake a poem
for an instruction manual
please take care, love. you are precious and you don't deserve the hurt. maybe one day i'll take my own advice, but for now i'm giving it to you <3
basil Dec 2020
i miss the idea of you a little.
is that wrong to say?
i miss it when i could look at you and imagine what it would be like to make you laugh.
i miss memorizing your routes to class and pretending that we just happened to cross paths.
i'd smile at you without meaning to, trying to take my heart off of my sleeve.

i miss crushing on you a little.
the same way you miss breaking curfew.
but now we're all just so tired.

i just want you to kiss me and say it's okay. say it's okay that i miss my imaginary you. because i miss the real you more.

love,
b
it's stupid how much i miss you, blue eyes. really, really stupid.

14.12.2020
nevaeh Dec 2020
i would like to let you know
that at one point in life
i had something to say
but these days it seems
all of those important things
are just so far away
jeez im getting real ******* bad at this
SomeOneElse Dec 2020
I wanna have ***
I want to make love
I want to be desired
Like a fire is to oxygen
I want someone to want me so badly they can't keep their hands off me
I want to have ***
all night long or til we pass out and then **** some more
I want to **** like there's no tomorrow and our lives depended on it.
I want to taste ***** and feel a woman's thighs wrapping face like a vice grip
I want to kiss and lick her *** and get lost in the moment
I want her to lick and **** me like I was a 3 star michillan resteraunt and she hadn't eaten for days
I want to make love
I want to lay on the couch cuddling in front the tv
Or laying on the bed spooning the whole day away
I want to look into a woman's eyes and see the love and and passion waiting to pounce on me.
I want to have ***
I want to ****
At the park at night or in my car late at night
I want to **** on a hike off the trail where no one can see (but might)
Or some public bathroom where we might get caught.
I want to have ***
I want to use toys, rope and blindfolds, candles and wax
To get as ***** as the moment takes us as we explore our bodies and sexuality
I want to have ***
Something I wrote to express the frustration forced celebacy and lack of dating has had. Maybe some of you can relate, maybe not but this was something I needed to write
Leocardo Reis Nov 2020
There is futility
in this relentless
carnal
thirst
that paralyzes me
like a knife
in my gut.

i revile ***
yet it is inescapable.
literature is
littered with it
as if
it's something
worth celebrating,
to be written about
over and over again
with the same words,
with the same ****** phrases
that attempt to approximate it
to something pure
pristine
something valuable,
as if it is not done
out of utter necessity
to keep
that knife
out of their gut.

the intense desire
to put a ****
into a ******
or an *******
is worthless,
yet unrelenting.
it is as bukowski has said,
a dog from hell.
it comes like the tide,
it never leaves,
whether it is satiated or not,
it's always there,
creeping,
waiting,
throbbing,
what terrible stuff.

if to truly love
one must ****
then love is not worth it,
then love itself is futile,
to give is nothing
and to reciprocate is nothing
in the face of eternity,
i am so tired of it,
let it stop.
Lucid Nov 2020
I am two parts. One part is still a child. She is immature and lazy. She knows only to do, never to think. She never got to grow up. The other part grew up too fast. She is strict and wise. All she does is think and think and think. She never got to be a child.

Why does my husband only love me when it doesn’t interfere with his career?

Why does my mom only love me when people are watching?

I keep having this nightmare where I talk to people, but no one hears me because I’ve lost my voice. I’ll scream at them and they won’t even spare me a glance. You know, it’s crazy because it happens sometimes when I’m awake, too.

My dad is dying. I want to go to sleep.

My brother is dying. I would gladly take his place.

Caught somewhere between “I don’t need anyone” and “please come back to me."

He started hiding the liquor in the house. I don’t know whether to hug him or hit him.

I often think about my life. I’ve worked so hard to build a happy, healthy routine for myself - something safe. But I don’t feel safe. I feel like I can’t ******* breathe.

Why does 3 AM come and go so quickly?

Last year I cracked and gave my mom the link to my poetry page in hopes that maybe she'd start to see and feel things the way I do. The other day, I asked if she had kept up with it. She said she didn't know what I was talking about.

The holidays are upon us and I cannot go home. I cannot face it.

My youngest sister is getting baptized on Sunday. She wants me to be there for her. I would rather bleed myself dry than go…but I will go. This is what I do.

My writing is **** recently.

My therapist tells me to imagine that I'm in a room. I'm safe and no one can hurt me. No one is around, I am alone. Nothing can touch me. I feel nothing. I open my eyes but I'm still in that room. I'm still in that ******* room.

I was 4 years old. FOUR YEARS OLD. And it took years for me to realize my childhood had ended when I was just 4 years old.
idk why I keep posting here like it ******* matters. nothing matters
basil Nov 2020
tw// homophobia (especially due to religion)

a small, clumsy child
in a room full of glass
is told to look, but never to touch
and it's the child's fearful obedience
that makes the parent revel in their victory

a naïve, desperate teen
is admonished for looking at someone
they never should've touched
(for a bible verse told them so. even kissing was a sin for them)
and it's the teen's desolate silence
that helps the parent sleep at night

don't worry, parent
now i know not to look or touch
please rest easy
my life will not be broken glass
hahahAH *******, MOM <3

but seriously can someone tell me how to stop feeling like a walking sin?
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