H as in, How could you do this to me?!
H happens when you least expect it!
H for, How happy are you now?
H to, Hello all my unanswered text and calls!
H is to, Hell with promises
H is the first letter in the word Helpless
H isn't the letter f for **** all of this.
H for you're always at a party and never Home.
H for my name is Hope
because that's what I was full of
before I met you.

H is what does she have that I don't have?!
H for , our Holidays were fixing to be together
H for I feel like a stupid ***
H is for, Hoes have feelings too!
H is for, to Hell the fact your name begins
with an N and not giving a **** what
this is all doing to me.

H for humiliating your so called "nagging wife"
who wanted good morning texts,
"What are you doing?" responses
and letting me know when your making
plans without me.
I only wanted to feel a
part of your everyday life
because you're so far away!
Yeah
but to hell with that too right?
As long as you get out
of the cage that is me.
Yes, to hell to the 2 years of love
because **** taking accountability
             This final H is for
              Hope this poem finds you
               because I haven't been able to...

Through all the years of wear and tear,
The sounds of night I cannot bear—
Laughter, joy, and friends’ delight
Contrast starkly with my lonely night.

Silence is the shade I own,
Yet warmth of friends is what I long.
Alas! My nature shuns the light,
Estranged from those in friendship’s sight.

For kindness, given, fades to naught
By those who held it all forgot.
So here I dwell in solemn plight,
Alone among the dead of night.

Rough wind on my lips
but no words will stay
I think my poem blew away

Stunted, the same, by
          highs
            and
           lows
           alike.
A jubilant parade inside
           some nights.
Silver linings? Ticking timebombs! Infinite splinters!
No good time left unexploded.
Rusted blood iron and red wine
filling my eyes.
          Tired of feeling "weird."
          Tired of knowing I'm being.

I wish I wanted anything in a way that didn't
                              scare me.
I wish I could love anything in ways that
                            couldn't hurt--
                           --inward or out--

                    I wish...
                    I think...
If I sit on this bench...for a long time,
and keep perfectly still...but make subtle
                    eye contact
          with some of the crows...
they'll accept me as one of them?

                    Teach me to fly
                    Or, at least, hide
                       in plain sight.
        A new vocabulary for my quiet
              when it starts to get mean.

Entangled, alike, by
          lows
          and
          highs,
         the same.
Convenient jailbreak for a Name--
               --Say it.
Chewing paper? Eat the playbook. Shred this formula.
No good night goes unpunished.
Rusted blood in my mouth, and red wine--
crying outside
                    Tired of being fragile
                    Tired of knowing I know.

                   And how 'bout the crows?

                   I'm good for a laugh, they suppose.

The rays of the sun reflect on my eyes, from early this morning.
Thus I am still weary, Ye I shall scorn.
I try to chase the wind; my mind is too unique.
My heart filled with rage, O my why today.

2. Now it is noon, thus the scorching heat.
The boredom is depressing, for all I do is sit.
Perhaps I am contemptible, for my laziness.
My selfishness is outrageous; I am without context.

3. The sun is down, my energy is depleted, my willingness is diminished.
I am full of pain, relieve me of my misery.
Thou cannot save me, I am derisive.
Who will come to my aid, for I am dismissive.