You told me somewhere out there
Is my other half
Even though you were the one I loved
Yeah you lied, left me in despair
Now my heart is beyond repair
Not a day goes by I don’t think about how
I should have made more moves with you
Regretting all these things,
that is what I’m used to
All I wanted was for you to be mine
But that’s not what life had in mind

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

I’m sick and sore
Bodies aching
Suppressed my cravings
Every time I gazed upon you
You were ****** desire
Deep within the flames burn higher
Extinguished my lust
With your words
Left me feeling broken and hurt
Rejection left me depressed
And I couldn’t find a vibe
To breathe in new life
My wires were cut
Left for dead
A rusting tin man

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

All I wanted was to find a future with us
It seems you had other ideas and gave up
All I got left was a box of empty promises
A whole lot of lessons
I wish I didn’t have to learn
I’m laying in the dark
Images play upon the roof
In all the ways that I remember you
The taste of your kiss
The feel of your lips
Tracing the lines in your hands
Playing with every strand of your hair
Every touch placed upon your body
I remember every breath you took
I remember all the ways
You left me shook

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

©2018 Written By Benji James

everytime you don't realize you break me,
you always say friend,
am that all i am to you?
your best friend,
i'll always be by your side,
i'll always be here for you,
yet i can't help but wonder,
could we ever be more than best friends?
and yet you never tell me,
you know my secret but never answer,
always changing the subject,
i'll do my best to wait,
yet i wonder when my patience will run out.

Engulfed in emotions
Everything's a blur with tears
Silly old hopes
Silly old misinterpretations
of generic pleasantries
and politeness
expressed into something more
Let the water flow through the creak,
over the hurdling stones,
let my thoughts move on from this day
Charging forwards leaving your stone behind
Adieu!

Natandaan ko ang mga tawa **** ‘di natatapos,
At ang mga pang-aasar **** ‘di maubos.
Naiinis ako pero, “haha. Tawa na lang.”
Hindi ko naman inaasahang
May muling bubulaklak ulit sa aking puso.
Noong hinahawakan mo pa ako,
Lagot na naman ang aking damdamin.
Ikaw na ang laging nasa isipin.
Pero... May minamahal na rin ako.
Bakit ngayon may lungko’t galit ka?
Sila ba ang rason at sa susunod ay ako.
Sorry kung ako ang naging dahilan.
Hindi ko sinasadya, iiyak-iyak ka na.
Aaminin kong hindi ako sanay
‘Di ko rin man lang matanong kung,
“Huy. Okay ka lang ba?”
Halata naman sa mga mata mo
Na hindi mo na talaga kaya.
Ewan ko ba, ngiti mo lang ang hinahanap ko.
‘Di ko rin alam na iyon ang kailangan ko.
Kaibigan lang naman pero bakit iba?
Gusto kita patawanin ng patawanin...
Para tumigil ang pagwawasak ng iyong damdamin.
Kaibigan kong malakas at matapang,
Alam kong lalaki ka pero hindi mo tinago,
Ang mga damdamin **** ‘di naglalaho.
Alam ko na baka isumbong mo ako,
Sa aking lalaking iniirog.
Pero kung alam ko lang ang rason ng mga tawa mo,
Sigurado akong naibigay ko na iyon sa’yo.
Yung mga pang-aasar mo para sa’kin na ‘di mo malimot,
Nasa ulo ko, pinagtatawanan kong paikot-ikot.
Malamang ay pinagtatawanan mo rin
At sigurado akong gusto **** balikan.
Magiging baliw ako, mapatawa ka lang,
Nagugustuhan (na) kitang makasama,
Pero mas maganda pang kaibigan na lang.
Kasi pag nalaman ****, “oo. Gusto kita,”
Hala heto na naman... Aalis at iiwas ka na.
Minsan ay nakakapagod rin maghabol
Ng mga taong sa huli’y mabibigay ng hatol.
Pero ‘di tayo aabot sa ganoon.
Kalimutan mo na ang aking sinulat.
Ito ay kabilang sa pagkakamali ng kahapon.
Kahit “kuya” lang? Okay na.
Haha. Kaibigan lang? Okay na.
O lalaki kong best friend? Sapat na.
Tandaan mo na lang na narito ako lagi,
Para subukan na mapatawa ka kahit minsan.
Sapat na, hanggang kaibigan lang.

We were silently sitting
In such a busy afternoon.
The silence, it was hitting me.
I never knew what would come too soon.
What happened, my only boy best friend?
The knowledge between us,
It will never be the same.
My blind eyes and blind heart,
I just loved only one.
Best friends are who we are.
We cannot take it far.
The difference of his and yours,
I cannot even see. I’m blind.
You were like twins,
But I was the reason why.
Why me? Why me? Why me??
Why, my loving dear friend?
Why me? Why me? Why me?
Nothing could have been happening,
Yet I’ve been worrying.
I’ve hurt you all this time.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I never went deeper and loved.
I loved the knowledge of us…
Being just friends.
Too bad, I loved you too,
I adored you, my friend.
And even wondered if…
You would love me back.
Even wondered if you know.
Even if you wanted to know.
But you don’t.... You don’t.
Cause I loved spending my time…
With you cause you always been there.
But, you don’t know.
If you see this, you might cry.
Please, leave you emotions
Like how your tears will dry.
Hoping you’ll forget me.
I don’t deserve your love.
I left and I left this love untold.
Cause what would you feel?
Cause, I confess that…
I cannot accept this truth. Just can’t.
My words are like knives.
I sharpen them whenever I don’t know.
I threw them blindly to the air...
Not knowing where it would hit.
Until, blood came out of your heart.
This is a game of love
Where only one prince and princess win...
Or nobody gets the crown.
And for you to win,
Just rise and love someone else back.
I’ll be happy even if my heart splits in two.
It all comes back. It really does.
“I loved the knowledge of being just friends...”
Love me but I shouldn’t love you back.
I’m sorry. I love you too,
But, I just can’t.
I’m sorry…

He was there for her through all the pain
She always kept him close at heart
Yet never seemed to let him in
He loved her like no other
He loved her to no end
But she was so content
To only call him a friend
Chasing any loser who was good at playing pretend
All the while, he remained genuine
She grew to appreciate his compassion
The words of kindness and the way he caught her when she fell
The day finally did come
When she said she could feel the same
She was tired of the boys
And now desired the man
As she called his name, he only turned away
For he had found another
Who loved him to no end
His words were bittersweet
Words she had to hear
That he'd always be her friend
But his love for her had come to end

I don't know what to label you
As everything in my life has a place
You stand in between the lines of friend and boyfriend.
It's really ******* with my head
Now as I said before
We can't be a couple
Rather, an admirer
Who lives two hours away
But will come knocking at your door
When inquired
I don't know what to tell you
When I took you to the beach
The cops showed up
And we ran, from red and blue
Lights that lit up the sea
And upon your window sat a fat parking ticket
I felt bad because you were sad that we missed it,
The fact, of course
That we couldn't be parked there anymore.

Silence on the way back to my house
And I still don't know what to call you
As I rub your neck,
The back of your head
I think I should calm you

Should I kiss you?
Should I say sorry?
Maybe you're not picking up what I'm putting down
Maybe you're too selfish to notice my pout

Another song to shut the **** up to
It reminds me of the butterflies David gave me when he would drive me home just to f*ck me ******* my futon after my dance show.
It reminded me of the fights before sociology class in the parking lot of school and pretending everything was cool, it's all in the past.
He ******* played that song like it was fresh strawberry cheesecake every time he heard it
I wanted to scream and thrash and cry and complain and I wanted to burn it
Those songs,
No matter the message
Will always be negative
Because they remind me of a more handsome, more ******* of a boyfriend.

You seem to accuse my affection as flirtation.
I have come to a realization:
your skull must be thick
and your brain dull
to believe
my niceness could equate to a desire to bone you.
It is no torture being my friend;
there is no horror to the friend zone

I am solely the best friend
I am used to that

I am the girl you invite to the game because you think you're going to score your first home-run of the year and I know the sport well
I am the girl you have proof-read your poetry to make sure it is okay to show another
I am the girl you rehearse the love song for to assure that it is suitable for sharing

But the home-run is never made in my honor
And the poems will never mention my name
And the beautiful love song was never meant for me

But I show up to the game with a sign decked out in glitter with your name and number held up high
And I let you know that a sonnet is fourteen lines and should be written in iambic pentameter
And I tell you your voice was sounding a tad flat when you were singing the lyrics "Baby this song is all for you"

You say "Thanks, you're the best friend a guy could ask for"
And I smile and nod, I am used to this