I don't know what to do,
It's like I've lost myself while trying to find you.
It's like you make me suffer so much
But you run free without a care.
To you it should seems like I'm just fine.
What if I told you I was dying inside?
Would you care or would you hate me.
Well I hate me for liking you.
I feel guilty because I'm hanging on to nothing.
You don't want me but I'm carrying my same old thoughts.
I feel bad for you because I love you,
Meanwhile you don't want me to.
I'm such a bad friend for liking you,
Because you just want to be friends.
I still feel like drowning.
This is just another of poems out of many.
About you.
There's so ****** many about you,
Yet you might not have a clue.
You couldn't know,
You couldn't imagine,
How much this is effecting me.
And now I actually sometimes try,
To get you off my mind.
I don't want to see you and ruin your moment,
Because of the fact your aware of me liking you.
Then I think what if this never happened.
What if you just said yes?
Then I sure as hell wouldn't be stuck here feeling like this.
No, I don't hate you.
You can't control who you love,
And I know that more than anyone.
I hate that I love you.
Because I shouldn't so it feels like betrayal.
So I'm sorry but I can't stop.
I haven't wanted to stop but now I think I want it to.
Never the less I have no choice.
I just have to sit here with you tearing me to shreds.
You don't know.
But if you did,
I wouldn't be able to come within a mile of you.
Because I'm sorry, so sorry.
Do you know what it feels like though?
To love someone without a chance,
And for so long but not being given the same type of glance.
So there's pathetic and then there's me.
More rather they're the same thing.
I don't know what to do apart from listen to depressing love songs.
Ones that I can't relate to because they've actually been in love.
They've had a relationship.
All I've had is this stupid crush,
But somehow it still hurts so much.
So I sing the lyrics and want to cry,
But no matter how loud,
You don't hear me.
Because I'm not singing to you and I don't want you to know.
There's nothing you could do.
You don't love me and you can't.
You won't.
But for goodness sake this hurts too much!
I try to live my life but I can't.
Which is because I'm thinking of you.
Everything right now just makes me want to scream.
There's no way around it,
Because you'll never love me.

I wear stupid glasses unlike her
Teardrops are my own makeup
Looking at you is my dose
I just wanna be with you so close

I wear oversize shirts incomparable to her
She wears tight jeans and lovely corsets
I walk through the dirtiest streets at night
She sways and enjoys her princess life at bright

I roll over my untidiest bed
She amazes everyone with her lips at red
I glaze the road with my unfixed hair
She roams the cities and turns it to a funfair

I could not do all of that
I could not even give you what you want
This feeling is only what I got
I said it through this poem 'coz I can't be blunt

I am afraid to tell you everything
You are my best friend and you are my everything
Why are you so numb of what I am feeling?
Is it because I am not what you are dreaming?

If only I could be that girl
But I can not.
Because I just wanted to be me
The girl who slowly kills herself
The girl who keeps on pretending
That she loves seeing you happy with that luckiest girl

Hey you, poor little fella
trapped in the "friend zone"

I'll tell you something I bet you didn't know
Don't think for a second that she's clueless about your hidden love for her

she knows
girls always know

they're just good at not letting it show
And don't take it as an offense

the only reason she locked you in the zone
is because deep down she knows that boyfriends come and go

And she wants you to *stay

it's lonely at the top
i see it in my mind
i take it it's the same for you
so i won't waste your time

take me to the top
then take me down a step
your ones and onlys come and go
i'll make you half a trap

i want to be your 'something'
possession or a guest
you'll sometimes have your ones
i'll be your second best

I'm that girl,
the best friend.

Pushed aside
into a box,
waiting for him
to grow tired
of his shiny,
expensive,
new toy.

I'm that girl,
stable,
always available.

Only used
when the new toys
are broken.

I'm that girl,
forever
a best friend and
never
a girlfriend.

Love is sweet,
Love is kind,
So what the hell is this?

It's like you're breaking me down.
I can't control my thoughts,
They all evolve around you!
Why do you do this?
You don't even care.
If only you were here,
And you actually care.

What's this you're doing?
Don't tell me you think it's fair.
It wants to tear me down.

you tell yourself
that you don't love him
you will not
in any way whatsoever
spend a moment more vying
for his attention
for his affection
or whatever
you call it
the jokes before during after class
how you are afraid to touch him
because
maybe he has some
magical
power
and can feel
that you are dying yearning straining
for a moment in his limelight
to be even a blip
in his timeline
a moment in a lifetime
you wonder if he can feel your love through your glances
when he walks next to you
time prances
a sugar spun web of
friendship
you never thought
a word
could sound so cruel
and bittersweet
like spiderwebs spun
through heart strings.
you know he won't
has said
has scraped his foot awkwardly as you
poured
implied
no spewed
your affections
in a barrage of desperation
of losing
of love
wouldn't it be easier
if you were like him?
able to see the world
the girls who hurt him
you
in a different light?
one that wouldn't
keep you up at night?
maybe
his hurt
is a questions you forgot to ask
you will do it tomorrow
joking before class.
the same patterns
picking away
on your heart strings