kindness
is a simple
of a candle,
it'll blow
so fiercely
and such
an attraction
to fire-flys
In hot
of summer
weathers,
and as
she's dressed
to
undress
in your mind
before
her blows
turn the white
to an ash of grey
Keep this keep-sake
to yourself.

Nayi jagah thi, nayi silsile
Chord ke aaye the sare hum sare apne purana mele.
Pehli baat, mila hath,
Mene paya jese koi apna sath.
Din b din guzerte gaye,
Kal k anjan ab apne bangaye.
Per khusiya kaha rehti zyada din,
Risto me aaya tufan bhi.
Per kehte he wo dosti hi kya jo tik na sake,
Ha narazgi aayi thi dono taraf per itni bhi nahi ki dil mil na sake.
Me naraz, wo naraz,
Phir bhi jaha piche me chhut jati, teachers ki dictation me thodi dhil ** jati,
Wo pichese chup chap dekhti, aake nazdik jorse wahi dohrati,
Use pagal ko lagta me samaj nahi pati,
Kon bataye use, wo sunke mann mein me muskurati.
Per us din muje bhi kuch gehra samaj aaya,
Sachi dost bhale ** naraz, mene to phir bhi use apne pass paya

If someone I knew were to find my poems
Would they laugh mockingly
knowing the words were about them
never sharing in their emotion

Or would they cry
seeing my true feelings
how much they reflect their own
could they understand the pain hidden in the words

Or would they not care
carrying on with their life after seeing my worst side
Ignoring me now they know I'm not perfect
That I'm not someone who acts rationally
in the face of emotions
Instead choosing to dress up my emotions
in pretty gowns and dresses
to try blend them into the beauty of my life

If someone I knew
were to read the words of my worst emotions
would they leave me

Goodbye.
A final farewell to a chapter that’s ending.
A word that many consider permanent
A word that is everlasting

If we want temporary,
Trying replacing with see you later.

That way the door is left open
That way the chapter hasn’t ended
The page hasn’t turned

That way I know you aren’t finished with me.

my heart
coils and quivers
grotesquely,
reaching out and
stretching the taut skin
of my limp body,
until it bursts
in a frenzied explosion
of stardust
and flames:
a fire, set ablaze
from within.

There once was a day when we both wore stripes
Distinct lines that undeniably connected us to each other.
Mine had already shifted to black.
Yours were still a light gray –
Soft and subtle.

Now I watch you stand on your own.
Head held high with understated confidence.
Be it sincere or feigned,
doesn't matter.
You're clad in plaid –
Infused with the stripes and lines embracing you all around as contributing designers silently admire in awe.

The black tee underneath —
the closest visible cloth to your heart —
pulls it all together.
You keep it concealed and dear,
Yet show enough to share.
Constant reminder.
We all know it's the reason we're here.

There will come a day
When your whole ensemble is painted
With every hue and shape imaginable.
The influences of past, present, and future
All melded into one stunning garment -
The monarch knows no such splendor.

Soon enough, the black tee will be cast to the side and long forgotten -
Inevitably replaced with an everlasting warm embrace.

Never again will I hear you say,
"I hate change."

I’d rather message you…
Instead I told my friend
about the decrease in red signage in this area.
I’d rather tell you…
instead I texted him
about the coffee shop eves-dropping
leading me to learn a bit of trivia
(fact-checking a statement overheard
I found it to be only half true).

I realized this morning
from a cordial text exchange
with a casual acquaintance
(Siri mixed his name up with my son’s so I apologized for the accidental call)
that his conversation was more engaged
than those with you.
I mourn that you, once counted close,
share less than my son’s classmate’s father.
I realized THIS
Is why I fear sending you these thoughts…
Perhaps it’s not really friendship you wish to hold?
but what is it you DO hope to retain?
Is it memory, possibility,
a thread of connection (never to be strengthened)?
All I know for certain—
this sinking disappointment
of friendship unrequited.

I wish you’d share
the heart-truths of you
as do the other friends I choose
to hold Close.