My friends used
To always be around
Good times, bad times
It didn't really matter
Every day was a new
Exciting adventure

Fast forward 10 years
Our group is scattered
All over the world and
We've become merely
Memoirs to reminisce
On my insomnia nights

(i remember…)
making out to ska with the lights on
(i remember…)
the day i finally got your pants off
(i remember…)
the look in your eyes told me something else was up (shhh)
forever bonded, didn't matter what was going on


not like thœse other guys
you were the caring type
circumstances not within your control
but you still had to make it right


it's so unfair
the unwanteds wandering in my dreams
but i still haven't seen you there


forever 23
a missing part of me
with every birthday that i have
it’s another you won’t see




forever 23
a missing part of me
with every birthday that i have
it’s another you won’t see

it's not fair
i'm still here and you're no longer there
the gold streaks have faded from my hair
life goes on but it's just our cross to bear

i'm sorry
i didn't get to tell you more
i'm sorry
i had to ever shut that door

wish i could've heard your demons
wish i could've seen the signs
even after all these years
i still focus on the good times

dude,
popping counterfeit percocet
you don't even see the trouble that you're in yet
the high lasts forever, you never come down
i guess we all learned our lessons by now

you're lost in the past, and so am i
waiting for the hour hand to tick on by

you got off early, i'm still on for the ride

One by one
the list gets longer.
Promises of friendship
turn into nothing more than tourism.
The word "goodbye"
has built a permanent home
On the tip of my tongue.
But despite the familiarity,
It still leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth.
Will it always be like this?

For so long
I’ve made plans and spoken of my future
With no intention of getting there.
How nice it is to be reminded sometimes
That life is a beautiful thing
And still worth living

Do you remember how you said…
You forget that you have friends,
Because you feel so lonely?
I understand you. I was too afraid to say it,
But I really, really do.

But maybe those aren't always the friends
worth remembering.

There is something amiss,

Even though it’s all fine.

An unknown perturbation

Occupying a corner of mind.


I don’t intend to,

But think I must do;

In such thoughts so lost

In this night of the noon.


There are a lot to speak with,

Only a few to talk;

And of them who do,

Hardly lead to some resolve.


With each new revelation,

Intricacy multiplies,

And it’s harder to tell

What on the next step lies.


I don’t know if I’m right

And doubt that I’m wrong.

Surely there’s a need

Of someone to stay along.

I'm not going to tell all my friends I'm suicidal
and I'm not going to send three texts to every contact I have every day

I don't need to make plans with them
I'm fine with the socialization I get from school

I'm not suicidal because of things at school
my problems stem from home

Dad is almost never home
just because his job makes him have to work far away doesn't mean he can't call

Meena needs to get off my ***
every single tiny ******* thing she feels the need to point out
and not to mention the fat shaming

And just because Lali has ADHD doesn't mean she can be a *****
she can't tell me nobody likes me and I have no friends because she's angry
I'm no psychologist
but I don't think ADHD works like that

And you need to get off my *** when it comes to grades
I made it into the school musical
I have a pretty big role
And band
I might ask for a solo
but you wouldn't care about my intrests would you
no... all it is is school, school, school, and grades with you

and maybe
yeah
most of my friends from my favorite friend group are going through a tough time
but you know what
I get more support there
than I do at home

so no
I'm not lonely
i'm... neglected, I guess