salty
tears,
I became
your demon.

I wish I could take back,
wrapped demons in back sack,
I felt ill with the words I said,
and made me feel so dead.

I can't rewind but can be present,
No need to now be hesitant.
I'm sorry for the hurt I gave you,
You are not nasty, but charisma full.

YOU JUST REMINDED ME.

Now, I will just ignore you,
like all the other girls
I never did fall in love,
it was just love of friends.

You were far too young,
but your personality sang,
What can I say to that,
it was worth more than my bats.

For home is in the eyes of my friends and my kin,
beside the deep footsteps where my lover has been.
It is found by the shadow of the one I do miss,
next to the smell of that fragrant last kiss.
So where is my home, let me find it once more,
for it exists near my heart, of that I am sure.

Please,

don’t start to believe having a large circle of friends
is the closest thing to having a halo – not everyone
in your life is a holy person. But they love to dig up
something worthwhile out of you; leaving you only
as a holey person.

Our final steps
are never meant to be
one step on the moon
or a leap for mankind.

It was your memory,
intangible.
metaphysically physical
synaptically existing.

My mother's
mothering
mother, Bernice.

or

A lover's
loving
love, Helena.

or

Writer's
writing
wrote, poems.

Push and pull
that's what you always seem to do.
I pour my whole soul into you,
and you answer with echoes
faint whispers
fading before they reach me.

I stretch myself thin
just to meet you halfway.
I ask if you're okay
even when I'm not.
I hug you
like maybe it’ll fix everything.

And still
you push me away.
You pushed me away.
I should’ve seen it.
A sign,
a shift.
Maybe you started to realize.
Maybe I came on too strong.
Maybe you finally got tired
tired of me.
Maybe time caught up to the truth,
and now you see me
how everyone else does.

So I step back.
I give you space,
let silence swell between us like fog.
I become a ghost in my own care,
quiet, careful, watching from the edge.

But like a fish out of water,
your breath turns shallow
and you pull me back in.
Suddenly, you’re the one
making sure I'm okay.
You trace the shape of my boundaries,
say you’re worried,
say you’re always here.

And I wonder
which version of you is true?
The one who holds me close,
or the one who keeps letting go?

And maybe that's what we are
a tide that never decides
whether to crash or retreat.
But just like the push and pull of the ocean,
while rough, we flow in a kind of harmony.
And although my energy is starting to erode,
I stay
a shoreline, waiting,
weathered but wide open.
Because some tides never stop returning,
even when they forget why they came.

I toss the sack.
It's kicked around.
I get it back.
We get a hack.
It hits the ground.
'Skeeters attack.