you, serendipity
i didn't expect you
but you're the best birthday gift i've received all year
and mind you, my birthday's a long time from now.

i didn't know you've waited
since middle school, for this to all work out
but i'm glad you did
so glad you did

we officially met...maybe a week ago when you confessed
so then why do you make me feel like the one having the crush?
so many things i won't understand
but so many things i hope we'll figure out together, levi.

I will always wait for you.
I will be sitting on the off-white wooden chair in my off-yellow painted room staring at my off-color smartphone screen while I wait for your reply to a message I sent you fifteen minutes ago.


I will always wait for you.
I will still be standing by the table we sit at with all our friends at lunch 
twenty seconds after the bell has rung while you zip up your backpack
then walk with me towards class.


I will always wait for you.
I will be bending over the road, craning my neck to look for the garish yellow bus 
and your silhouette trudging up the hill but if I don’t see you in the next two minutes
slowly meandering down to look for you will be my next job.


I will always wait for you.
I will run over when I see your face all ******, body barely moving
lying on the road, then all of a sudden taken away I’ll completely forget today’s science test and 
run as hard as I can towards the hospital.


I will always wait for you.
I will remember that it has been ten years today and the feel tall grass tickling my ankles as I walk,
bowing their heads in sorrow. I’ll bring you a sunflower, the first one grown at the new house, then
sit beside your weather-worn stone 
and wait.

Heart beating,
short of breath.

I wake up alone
and wonder:

What would life be like

without you by my side?

The fear of losing you
leaves me choked up inside,

but I'm doing my best
to cast those feelings aside.

It's taken me so long
to open my eyes,

a long journey marred by mistakes,
one after another.

It's taken me so long just
to let my guard down and try.

Sick and tired of building up walls,
I'm simply tired of losing it all.

I'll do everything in my power
to save myself from the fall,

just to spend one more night

with you by my side.

There is power in the voice
The words that are spoken ever so softly
Finding meaning and purpose is conveyed through her poetry
Her mind full of chaos she just begins writing
Pages and pages start flowing, as the words just keep coming
Her art becomes a confronting and meaningful piece
Shared to others who need help finding connectedness and peace
A talent she holds close to her heart
Feeling greatful she has the ability to share life through all of her poetic art.

Begging for air terrified it was her very last breath
You leant against the door blocking her from running to escape from your control
Your hand so tightly cupped over her mouth no air could get in...or out
Suffocation took hold as you continued to invade her soul  
Selfishly you took what you wanted without any care
You left her numb and empty
Full of pain and suffering she would never forget
Still to this day she works tirelessly to process the trauma that you forced her to accept
You picked a good one because she is a fighter and so **** ******* strong
You took a part of her but her strength still remains deeply engraved in her soul  
Holding her on the days that she feels she can’t go on
Continuously keeping her fighting spirit strong
You left an indent in her soul but you didn’t take her whole
Like a puzzle there is a missing piece
If you look closely you can still see an absolutely breath taking image

Nestled in the lush greenery
Graciously she absorbs nature’s beauty
Moments capture a content and present aura
Flowing freely throughout her body
Sensing the sun glistening over her pale skin
Feeling the breeze sweep through her hair...
Instant chills race down her spine
Reminding her she is in her body
Feeling the sensations encompass her being
Quickly she remembers to go within
Compassion running through her blood,  keeping her heart beating
Surrounded by gratitude when she realises how far she has come
One day at a time she treads lightly, tripping and failing it’s all apart of life’s journey
Remaining aware and present,  she relies on her inner strength
Guiding her along this crazy and wild journey
Always staying stay kind and true
One deep breath in she captures this moment to keep
Knowing she can visit there anytime she needs to check in to her heartbeat

The voices are screaming over one another
Each one desperately trying to be heard
Becoming louder and louder; quickly feeling as if she can’t breathe
Standing dazed and afraid, staring blankly ahead
Unable to get a word in, continuing to stay silent
Listening to the chaos overwhelming her mind
Begging for it to all stop, just so she can take a silent deep breath
Caught in an immense spiral, she feels herself losing complete control
Instantly giving into the demands just to have a moment of peace
Her task is complete as the voices fade out into the distance
Sitting in shame, tears begin to stream down her face
Realising she has fallen into this disastrous place
Greeted by the beast sitting with a pronounced smile on his face
Aiming for an escape, slowly learning this is her learning space
The pain is intense radiating through her weakened soul
As the voices become louder once again, tears pouring, she sits and feels through this incredibly vulnerable place
The internal pain buried deep within her soul, feels like a naked flame burning through her skin
Burning through every layer, travelling deeper and deeper creating a tender wound
She focuses on sending love, healing and protection to the inner wound
Gradually the healing begins
Learning day by day to give herself, love, care and affection just like she deserves

The lid was on so tight itching to see the light
Trapped in a dream the reality sets in
Terrifying memories coming to life
In a replicated scene
Moments capture and consume her as she desperately tries to break free
On the run from the pain she wakes to find it was all just a scary dream
Never the same from that night on
Stronger as takes on the challenge of each one by one

Kelsa.aX

Poetry articulates an image created by experience
Words capture a glimpse of the picture the author is trying to paint
Poetry is a delicate art creating a sense of imaginary beauty
Writers captivate their readers by taking them on a journey through their art

Kelsa.aX