I lost an earring
A favourite for
It's a perfect match
To a mustard top

I searched to
No avail - but now
It's been found
On the doorstep

Sometimes things
That have been
Lost can then
Be found again

I think this
Can be applied
To people and
Souls too

They say good boys never win, 
I thought it might be right. 
I’d always been good to people 
who'd only made me lose. 
Losers that made lose. 
 
And there was I,
the good boy gone bad, 
being good at being bad, 
being bad 
for the sake of not being good, 
because I wanted to win. 

I’d been craving  
to know what it was
not to lose myself 
trying to find purpose in someone else.

Until I found my one 
and got lost in those eyes. 
Now we're on each other's team 
and together we’re invincible.

As a kid, I fill
notebooks
with beginnings of
diaries -

This summer,
I promise,
I will write every day.

But all these
beginnings
I leave without
endings,

leave so many
stories
incomplete
on the page.

While my words
are still
waiting,

I keep
ticket stubs,
photographs,

wedged
between
pages,

fragments
without
narrative,

except in my head.

I mourn  
moments
unwritten,

as they slip
between
floorboards,

and sink below
oceans
of everyday
things.

But months,
and years,
since I wrote the first
sentences,

made a promise of
more
that I never did keep,

I still find the small
scrap
with a sketch of a
seashell,

and stand for a
moment
with my toes
in the sand.

Though my
words
never came
with
specifics in sentences,

not everything
unwritten
is forgotten,
is lost,

And a fragment
can function
as a map
to a memory,

And my past
summer self
is with me
again.

7:00
Wake up
Im awake
in a b--- No
My bed
Warm

7:30
Get up
Stand
Cold
dizzy
Jamie...
Where is-- Who?

8:00
Breakfast
Eggs
Bacon
Toast
Milk
Mmm

9:00
Stoll
Trees
Sun
Flowers
I miss being a flower
So beautiful
So free
Flowing with the wind
I wont forget that

10:30
Seeker
Told her what i know
Yet apparently she knows my human
Better than the one inside
We should just **** her, save some time
wait
what?

12:00
Comforter
"These feelings I have never felt hatred
I dont like it
but I cant let it go
being here even I just Hate It"
Souls are pure
Flowers were perfect
Calm and peaceful
This alien body is just a ticking bomb
A killer

2:00
Thoughts
I just want to sleep
But
I miss him
Who
Theres a wall
whats wrong with this body?
Was it damaged?
no Healer Ford wouldn't have let me in it
but why I cant i see this over this wall
I want to see

i took off into an unknown place
two lane roads fade into a daze
the earth is painted with rust
and grey
my face is fresh without clay
the freckles take up the spaces where your finger tips
once laid and the wild flowers be me to stay

it was with love too
                        sudden
                             too
                               new
                           too
                    shiny
that a heart
sudden heavy
felt as a curse:
something
to fear & mourn

but
acceptance
rang
through the ranks
as a war cry:

bright
and queer
and pure
and he —

who knew
      my pieces
and just
      how they
all
fit
together

— spoke:
       “ a heart is indeed a heavy burden -
          but we can surely offer you a hand. “