the best sin i've ever made
was falling for you.
falling for your big, brown eyes;
falling for the way you talk about a song you listened to;
falling for you —
is the best sin
i've ever committed.

Are you the catalyst?
Are you my muse?
My master?
My Shaman?
My guide?

Or some drifter who sparked something
Dead in me...
Too dormant to pry from
The floorboards by myself

I would've never seen
What I could be if you
Didn't light the match
You were,
Are,
Will be,
my hidden passion
Inspired if you only did
what I was asking

We could somehow,
Still be
Now the tables turned
If only you could deal with me
You were my peer
Yet my professor
Froze any lessons Into lectures
Pressure is setting in

Hope you know I'll always be
Your biggest fan
Flat characters in a bad romance

I coulda wrote
with half my wit tied
behind my back
Doesn't make this any less real
The ritual thins the veil
Please tell me
you can feel ...
This
Whatever IT even is
Are you my mystic ?
Or my mediator ?
My handler ?
Or myself ?
Displayed on a face

I've hallucinated
Just to keep me company
Yet you reply
And react
as if you were made to

Maybe your the simulation
Or were tailor made to
make me whole
I dunno...

I remember the moment you left without a word,
like silence louder than anything i’d heard.
my heart didn’t break — it shattered unseen,
like glass in the dark, quiet and mean.

I wonder, what if we never meet up.
Would it hurt me like it won't heal up..?
or will time just cover it up,
like dust on a never-sipped cup?

You walk five steps ahead and take a right
Never closer without a sign
As though we didn’t say I love you and I love you
Over the phone
Last night

Your eyes carelessly scan my body and find
Nothing worth more than a keek
As though you didn’t set your sights
On my submissive figure
Last week

You treat me like a child when we dine
I feel small and without power
As though I didn’t call you Daddy
When we were alone
Last hour

You take a picture of me and my date
Pretending
As though you had never felt the softness
Inside me
I am yours and you are mine

You held me close, yet lied to me,
A traitor's mask I could not see.
The warmth I crave, your arms I seek,
But truth has made my heart grow weak.

I know your truth, but I can't say,
The cost is one I dare not pay.
My silence screams, my heart decays,
Bound by the game we’re forced to play.

Still, I’m trapped in your embrace,  
Hating the love I can’t erase.

I never really noticed you for the simple fact that
That men grab at me all the time, when you do I
Thought you were one of them but…..I felt the
Love in your touch….. turn around and see you with your
Darkly and dangerous good looks  I want ed to talk to you
But I had to finish my dance after that I talked to you … you
Kiss me softly as well as well as your touch I still don’t know
Much about you.   But yet I loved  you being with me
Or love I thought was going to last that was until
You said that we could not I insisted to be with you
That drove you insane, the idea of being with me
Instead of you job
It hurt more than you strangling me
Why this betrayal of me
As I stilled loved you to the last breath

The first time we kissed
My heart awas a wash with
Adrenaline and love something I did
Not understand for my first 23 years
On this planet.  As you caressed me
All over my body I want to be with
You and only you.  But you were
Married to you job.  My love
For you was forbidden, how I
Wanted with you  for my self
But can I …..