your  look  saturates
your  focus  brings  me repose
and  rattles  my  bones

my  heart  overflows
as  I  witness  your  passion
all  day  I  could  gaze

dire  desire
shivering  at  the  thought  of
a  vanishing  graze

never  more  than  a
fleeting  glance  or  short - lived  touch
our  blockades  entrench

our  confines  have  names
mine  is  called  he,  yours  is  she
our  shackles  we  vowed

our  love  manifested
if  perhaps  time  allowed
us  as  one  maybe

left  unrequited
we  are  left  unsatisfied
us;  left  unanswered

Life might be too ******* us, as we always think. We always complain for the things we have to face and overcome, for the dissatisfaction and the things we can't always have. But, I guess it's just trying to teach us something important. I've just realize that the easier things to achieve the complicated our life might be. You see, if we will never learn how to push ourselves, to get out of our comfort zone, to make sacrifice, to believe and have faith or to do something we thought we can't but we did, we will never learn the value of something. It might be the value of someone to us, the value of their efforts, the things they do to get wherever they are right now, the importance of time we have while we're living or simply the value of life.

We will never learn how to be stronger, to be wiser. We might never have the chance of meeting the better version of us if everything was easy. And most importantly, if everything will be easy for us to get then everything will also be easy to be taken away from us. Life wants us to grow and learn every single time it throws us challenges or opportunity rather. An opportunity to extend ourselves and learn  or think more out of the box.

Be brave, be kind and always look forward to the good things. We never lose. If you made it, it will be an achievement and if you fail, consider it as a lesson that you have learned along the process. Sometimes we just need to learn things in a hard way, we will never fully understand the ways of life. But whatever it is, it's always about the choice that we make today that will lead us to where we will be tomorrow.

The most important lesson that I have learned is "The best part of learning is not when we are being taught, instead it is when we start to discover"

And wow, just like that, look how growth finally say hi to me.

Trying to focus, I knocked my head.
My eyes tuned out of the radio, its signal out of signal.

The knobs of my brain couldn't keep up.
Take me slow, please.
I walk with twisting foot.
My shoulders banging the walls of my house.

I topple over.
My vision blurred.
The signals of my radio stirred....

I'm in a class,
We sit in chairs.
The teacher talks,
They listen and stare.

And I'm unfocused.

My pen is scratching,
My mind is clear,
The class is there,
And I am here.

And I should focus.

Oh, ****.
It's quiet.
Have I been caught?
This is something that I should not
Be doing
But I can't help it,
I'm trying to get it,
But my mind is flying,
And I'm sick of trying and
My brain is crying for
More than I'm offered and
**** IT!

I just can't focus.

for a moment i lost focus.

i lost focus.
began to forget
parts of myself
that made me
me.

i lost focus on myself.
only to direct it to the
temporary world that
we live in.

for a long time
i lost focus of my mind.

only to focus on the
blur and haziness
that is my life.

My thoughts are scattered again
Like a jar of mustard seeds
Fallen all over
the kitchen floor
from the window till the door

One flash of Your smile
They all come back as one
Mesmerized.

My love,
I am totally dependent  on you,
Do not force me,
Do not hurry me,
Expect less from me,
I am sick,
Let me rest.
Be there for me,
Kiss my cheek,
Love me,
Hold my hand.
I am muddled and lost,
I need you to manage my everyday tasks,
Tell me how, simply and clearly,
Give me a sense of dignity,
Help me to focus.
I may become aggressive  dear,
Distract me,
Lessen noise around me.
If I insist on wearing same clothes,
Buy some more pairs of the same.
I need you my love, more than ever,
I need your love and care.
Please don't be angry,
I know you have a lot on your plate,
It is difficult for you,
Please put up with my terrible
moods,
With you around I feel safe,
I feel happy and comfortable,
Be there for me till I am gone.

They criticize her and make her hate the moment
Her dignity and pride is stolen
They break her stance and potent
She does succumb the omen
They offer her zero condolence
They laugh and mock and curse her
They call her *******
They call her a ****
and other names of such
They drain her to danger red
They call her witch and theft
They make her hate herself
She scurf her face and wept
She cry herself to sleep at night;
Hoping that things would change
She 'd told herself that things 'd be right;
One day my pain and scar would fade
and if she would never fly
She said " I’d rather die"
She strive to reframe her picture
Her heart and soul is injured
She strive to reframe her name
So she 'll overcome her shame
Now the path to succeed is open
She's out the heat of oven
She smiles behind her rolex
Her foes is rendered goalless
Her shame has turned to fame
And her life is not the same
Her haters now adore and love her
Now none of them can stop her
Their hate and game and hurt
is the reason for what she'd turn