Denial
The news breaks
The words come,
but they slide off my skin
like rain on a window.
I keep moving,
setting the table, watering the plants,
as if the world hasn’t fractured
in a way I can’t unsee.

Anger
The air feels sharp,
each breath jagged,
and I want to break something.
The cups in the cupboard tremble,
my fingers curl into fists.
Why this?
Why now?
Why me?

Bargaining
In the quiet, I begin to bargain,
with gods I don’t believe in,
with time that won’t listen.
If I had been better,
smarter, kinder,
maybe it wouldn’t have ended like this.
The universe stays silent

Depression
It swallows me whole,
a deep ocean without light.
I stop reaching for the shore.
The bed becomes my sanctuary,
though it offers no peace.
I float,
adrift,
nothing to anchor me.

Acceptance
There’s no epiphany,
no sudden light breaking through clouds.
Just a morning
where I rise
and the weight feels less like a boulder
and more like a stone
I can carry in my pocket.
It’s no permanent solution
But it’s just enough to last me the day.

There are five stages of grief my therapist told me.
I did them out of order, thanks to my chronic ADD.

Denial was supposed to be the first stage,
but Bargaining is what I did.
I bantered with myself for days,
placing unrealistic bets and bids.

Anger is said to be next,
but Denial is what appeared.
My situation was too perplex
I wanted it to disappear.

Acceptance took Bargaining's place,
I embraced my defeat.
I bowed down from a losing race,
not wanting a repeat.

Anger transpired instead of being sad.
Depression didn't come like I was told.
Sounds cliché, but I was boiling mad,
I saw red and lost control.

Acceptance was not what I felt last,
Depression was the unaltered state I was in.
Melancholy was my final forecast
of grief’s ultimate tailspin