Since a year and nine months before my first birthday I've been unwanted The only way for me to not feel unwanted Is to not be around for unwanted to be an option Watch that be the day I am finally wanted And they'll have the nerve to say, "this is not what we wanted."
A lost grip, Another familiar slip Running parallel with a predictable confidence dip Regardless of every other absorbed hit No one's record is perfect It was bound to become evident Taking a toll Beginning to show Worried life will dole out more trouble than one should be expected to tow Stashed in the back of a mind is the knowledge it's possible Work to avoid the void of a logic loophole that feeds the unreasonable While acknowledging life cares so very little About a big ol' white flag run up a pole
You've had this thought before The flowers on the window sill The distant sound of a radio The streets The grass The stars
The sky's dome above your head Everything is normal on Earth Exactly as it is now Look up at the sky God is in his heaven God is in his heaven A god who's very very silent
Home awaits A beautiful serene place Of mystery And peace The one thing you will never find again All the love and patience of your friends The tenderness you feel
You no longer live there Those times are gone And so are those people Why did you come here? Why are you still here? You don't know
The freedom of finality That's all you have now The great see-through world All things bright Only you remain You against the nothingness
It's not fire It's not ash Everything is calm You can only sense the shape of it A pit opening up in your stomach A blank space With no point of reference Something that has always been there A new reality Barely out of sight Where only one type of motion is possible The motion of a human throat swallowing A throat into which the world will vanish
Crying on the bathroom floor, explaining to my mom everything I had hidden from her for the past few months.
Weeping for hours and deciding to compose the hardest letter I ever had to write.
Sobbing because I thought I'd never speak to him again.
But then crying tears of joy when he finally came back.
A few days after, dying on the inside because he left again, but seeing his name pop up on my screen after another month, wondering what I should do and deciding to reply and
finally
tears slowly falling from my eye as I faced the fact that I had to say goodbye.
Words are like flowers Ephemeral and beautiful But cut short is their life Once they leave the lips It becomes the duty of action To animate them into fruition With persistence and grace To keep them alive long after they’re spoken And seasons change
From the falling of leaves To the settling of snow Trapped in winters grip ‘Til spring came to thaw We’ve spoken many words Fleeting and playful With passion to match
Much like the flower Flames can be evanescent If left unattended Yet in your absence The light abounds
Summers soft warmth Will hold us tight As we hold each other And brace for the chilled breeze of fall To blow us back to October To our first hellos Without goodbye in sight
