We used to fight sometimes
late at night
after too many drinks
too many cigarettes
too many insults
thrown back and forth

First we’d praise each other up
then run each other down
to the lowest notch

There were good times too
But after a while they dried up
The way some things do.

Couple last screams
And I would hear some clanking in my kitchen
Didn’t pay too much attention

She’d go out with her big purse
“Should you be driving?”
“***** you”

I would go to the window
Yell down at her on the street
“Get outta here you bottle bandit!”

I didn’t want her to go
Not really
She may have been a ***** thief
But she had a sort of magic
The way some people do.

I bumped into her years later
In a liquor store
same one we used to go to
I wondered if she remembered all the fun
But the look on her face
underneath the smile
showed the pain.
The way some faces do.

After our quarrels,
I do believe that it is
a combination of nostalgia
and fear that bring us back together.
We know that an image of another person
can never replace the memories
we have made,
and we fear that one of us
may become happier than the other
if we truly end.

It started this day, that year,
Initiated by chance, and the magic unfolded,
though I was blinded for long,
I thank you for ticking the twinkle in my eye!

The journey started unknowingly,
Flown stupidly, managed roughly,
Grown wonderfully, Spoken continually, untold silently.
The priceless journey stuns me as always!

The colours took time to show,
They came one by one,
Startling me at each stage,
The rainbow came with seven,
You came with limitless to space!

I thank the colour of Festivals,
Boundless thanks for everything you give,
My words may never be enough,
Wish every energy which flows wishes thy life,
filled with happiness and success forever.

I'm *******,
in absolute tears
and wishing that I could take it back.
I want to just curl up
and blast music into my eardrums,
but I don't have my earphones
because they're in the same room as you.
And I cant just go in there,
pick them up and leave,
and I can't just listen to music without them;
it seems almost disrespectful
to do anything but
sit in my pitch-black room.
In silence.
That is what people will expect of me,
and I can't break the silence.
Even the sound of the buttons on my keyboard
are too loud that I'm scared someone will hear
and hate me even more than they do now.

God,
I'm such an idiot.

Why do I always do this?
people are just trying to be nice,
friendly, supportive.
They're my parents for ****'s sake!
why cant I manage to get out a sentence
that doesn't make my mother leave the kitchen table
so that she doesn't have to cry in front of her daughters?
That doesn't stop me from knowing though.
And all the while I spit venom from my mouth,
I think to myself;
you *******, you *******, you ******* *******,
look what you did.
LOOK WHAT YOU DID!
Why can't I just accept that I'm bad for everyone I love
and just cut to the chase
and **** myself
before anyone else gets hurt?

I hear the constant yelling
I hear your constant arguments
I hear the fight you have
I hear the insults you yell at each other
When will it stop?
You yell and scream
You pull me into your fights
I see the things being thrown
I hear the demeaning things said
When will they finally concede?
It’s like living with 4 year olds
I can see the redness in their faces
I can hear the raw anger In their voice
I can hear the curses being thrown
I can feel the hatred emanating from their bodies
Do they know how that affects me?
Tensing up whenever they are in the same room
When they leave the room,
The Relief I feel is instant
For then next couple days,
Loud noises scare me
I’m constantly on edge,
Why should the people you love not love each other?
She says that you should just be quiet
He says well look at you
I just try not to cower away

We used to text all the time
We hated texting
But we always wanted to talk
Now my phone is silent

We used to say these cute things
Like I love you forever
And I'll never leave
And now it just sounds forced

We used to always want to sleep together
Talking all night
And cuddling close
And now we're canceling plans

You say your feelings won't change
But our interactions have
These seemingly small details
Feel like everything for me
And being around you doesn't feel the same
Because I know you've been with her
She's probably more fun than me
Especially with all the negative **** I'm feeling
So how can I blame you for bringing her up in stories
When I can barely look at you