She lay in the bath, half asleep or half awake she wasn't sure, but the warm water floated gently around her infinitely. And just like the memories in her mind the water lapped aimlessly at nonexistent edges, spilling over, as if wandering off the edge of the world.  
She moved her hand carelessly to tuck an escaped strand of hair behind one ear as the water hugged the creases and crevasses of her body, all contained in a white bowl of serenity with the only disruption in her mind. She starred absentmindedly into the reflection in the water, a distorted and watery version of her blue eyes and curly hair, although somewhere inside her she knew she was beginning to feel more like her reflection every day. Her tear stained eyes stared back at her, the makeup smudges making her look skillfully tired and worn as though an artist himself had hand crafted her very face and in the process aged her 5 years. Inside she lulled away, wanting to melt into the water and never care about anything more than was necessary. The soft, happy, carefree side temporarily locked away, with a combination that even she did not yet know. Instead an emotional whirlwind of feelings, angry and powerful tunneled out, amplified by so much as a word or a thought. It was these moments that almost took her by surprise, as if it was someone else pushing these people out, in an attempt to avoid explaining. This was accompanied by feeling as though the world had given her everything to live for and everything to lose in one breath. Her ragged breathing had eventually softened to an emotional sigh of trembling lips as she reimbursed herself with more hot water. Feeling it burn on her leg she watched pink ovals appear,  stinging with regrets and pain, a constant wishing to go back and re do and apologies and pause and rewind and forward.
With a click of her heel she snapped the plug away, maybe in some attempt to also drain herself of her tribulations that had almost enveloped her entire bath. Watching the water disappear quickly, she was entranced at the waters escape, loving how eager it was to run away from her. And with this she felt relief, as though she could finally breathe.

Our fights are as loud as thunder.
Don't you see me cry and shudder?
You yell at me as if I am guilty
You knew I'm not, but you never say sorry

Why does it always have to be like this?
You threw our love into an abyss.
Won't you regret what you did to me?
Now I am broken, do you not see?

Our fights are as loud as the thunder.
Now I cry, now I stutter.
I will not or cannot ever be repaired
Because I found out that you never cared.

I wake up alone
It's a cold shock
Hands clutching the sheets where a few minutes ago I imagined that familiar warmth
His hands scarred from fights and glass
Wrists bruised from cuffs
"Sorry I didn't get back to you, I was arrested then hospitalized"
Gone
My hands ache
My chest aches
"You deserve sweet things"
He was wrong

Remember the memories
Remember the fun
that was all lost
by a fight that wasn't won
     Remember the friendship
Remember the forever promise
that was all lost
by a fight that wasn't won
     Remember what we did last summer
Remember the crazy nights
that was all lost
by a fight that wasn't won

Maybe one day we'll reconnect
Maybe one day it will all be forgotten
as the days go on
this was because of a fight that wasn't won
    Maybe one day we'll have more memories
Maybe one day we'll have more fun
as the days go on
this was because of a fight that wasn't won
    Maybe one day we'll all just laugh at this
Maybe one day we won't all be so ******
as the days go on
this was because of a fight that wasn't won

Sometimes I get so mad
Sometimes I get so ******
that this STUPID **** went this far
over a fight that wasn't won
    Sometimes I get really sad
Sometimes I get really happy
that this STUPID **** went this far
over a fight that wasn't won
    Sometimes I can't even believe
Sometimes I can't even imagine
that this STUPID **** went this far
over a fight that wasn't won

Now I can see how you really are
Now I can see your true colors
I'm glad this happened
in a fight that wasn't won
    Now I can have more laughs
Now I can have better memories
I'm glad this happened
in a fight that wasn't won
    Now I can see you weren't a friend
Now I can see you were my worst enemy
I'm glad this happened
in a fight that WASN'T won

you hurt me everyday and yet i'm supposed to forgive?

I was in school ready to fight some one
As I squared up I got punched in the face and collapsed on the floor
Pain in my eye
I could see swelling as I fell unconscious
Then I woke up and all I could remember was hearing "WORLDDDDDSTARR"

I've never felt so useless; I'm so used to being used. Am I just being thrown and tossed around like an abused piece of news?  
Old news is that what I am? I remember hard times before when you couldn't I'd always rise and take a stand.
Seems to quickly we, as people, forget how to be a friends; tempers flaring, words daring then hours later waiting to make amends.
While my feelings are hurt, And your basically floored, this whole time we both feel like we're being  ignored.
Our fights they're terrible I can admit that, I can also admit our friend ship isn't half bad.
Actually I like you most, you just don't see... Have I ever kept anyone for that long around me? The people in that category I can only name about three.
     honestly I can say that most of the problem is with in myself, I really can't tell when it's real so I always have with held.
With held the extent  in which my friendships go, when ever I hit the road. It's always been alone.
With hold my feelings because I'm scared they're wrong, **** I even with hold the name of my favorite song.
I've been told before I'm easy to love but hard to know, I'm just so used to being overlooked that I thought people would really careless to know.  
I'm scared I'm not enough and that I will never suceed. I'm scared to love and then in it bleed.
There's apart of me that feels like I'm trapped in my own little realm, and I'm so far gone no one cares to help.
So I shut my self down and the ones that I love, but not because it I'm above,  it's more because I feel I'll never be enough.
I set outrageously high expectations,
So that I can't commit to any kind of relations.  It's just easier like that, dealing with me is no mental vacation.
I've  told you I knew the problem was me, don't ever for a second think I'm too blind to see.
I know I'm a monster and act like I don't care, I just know that even though everyone says it, they won't always be there.
It's not that I feel you won't, I just know what it's like and I've lost all hope.
So then I **** up on purpose cuz I'm a ***** and I'm scared. Ironically you're still always around the corner... Just there.
Waiting for what, I really don't know,
But I won't ever be different, I just don't know how to go with the flow.
And for all those reasons that's why I'm alone, I'm just grateful you haven't gone.
I don't  wanna fuss, dont wanna fight, just wanna make sure you my friend are at home and are ready to smoke a blunt tonight.
All my insecurities are giving me a headache, so I puff on the blunt to watch them vacate
They disappear like the clouds of smoke I exhale, turn the music real loud and think of something random like retail.
& just disappear even if it's for a second,
I know I'm terrible I told you I'd admit it.
Of course the insecurities always come back, but I'm really trying here please just help me and cut me some slack.

In my childhood, you taught me
Not to shout and not to lie
But this is what you did
Can this act be justified?
I never said anything out of respect
But main reason is that I was horrified
If I do something wrong I will be punished
But if you do the same thing, is that fine?
Yelling at each other is all what you did
And expect me to forget about it and pretend that I don't mind?
You loved me one moment and disgraced me at another
And left me crying and thinking you are  unkind
This is the story of a child
Whose parents think as if their child is blind