I beg on my knees
For people to stay
The people I want to stay the most
Are the ones I am better without
Please don't go
Is what I have said to people I thought were my forever
Please don't break my heart
I am done begging
For the attention, you don't want to give
Don't give me hope
I give 100 percent to people
Make time for them
Comfort them
But who's there when life hits me
I have my amazing family
But I only want to tell them so much
Music is key
Writing poetry is great
It's words that you truly feel
It ***** when everything around you is great
But mentally you feel off
I feel broken
Even though you could look at my life
And say what does she have to be sad about
I wish I knew why I feel so sad
I'm tired
Nothing really interests me anymore
The things I once loved I don't anymore
I am going to bring back that happy girl
She is somewhere
I will fight to be happy again
There will be no more confusion with my tiredness and sadness

Every year I forget how much I hate fireworks
The pop and bang, blinking as fast as I can
Like closing my eyes will make the sound go away
It won’t you know that fact too well
No one has ever been able to figure out why you hate loud noises so much
You were never in the military
You’ve never been around bombs
Just the explosion that was your childhood
Every word, every screamed silence you made into your pillow when no sound came out
Every slap of ice stained teeth gritting against the broken promises spewn
Pounding marble countertops so hard you thought you would fall down
Every “I Hate you”
“Don't leave me”
When you just wanted them to breakup
Even though you should have never been involved
Because you were a child and children should never play with the deadly match of a distinguished marriage
No child should ever have to worry about that because it’s out of their mind capacity
They don’t know when too much is time to stop
When the fuse might burn their hands
If they’re not careful
No-one stopped to take care of the bleeding wound that resulted
Your pain wasn't as relative as theirs
An ongoing struggle in the battle of “I'm right, you're wrong”
Let’s work this out
Go away
That fire can burn a hole through your heart if you let it
Good thing mine is completely cold

News comes in spectrums
In the sun in the rain
Delivered by stork or by train
Not cloaked in fairytales
Cancer was the news
No tomorrow I wonder

I stood still amidst the cold stone room
Attentively listening to the news caster
A breeze of life flew out of me
As I gazed in awe about tomorrow
Devastated but without known sorrow
Life goes on said the unforgiving news breaker

In emptiness I glimpsed into the future
The day my loved ones living without mama

but aren't we all
sad and miserable—
trying to live life
as if we know how?

until when
do we really have
to put on an act
that we're just fine?

how pitiful we are
(you're rather strong)
struggling desperately
to survive—

trying not to peek
at the easy way out.
(i'm proud of you)

The only way your demons can hurt you,
Is if you let them break your will and surrender.
But if you keep fighting you shall never perish,
You'll find each one fall with a single slash.
And that you're stronger than any of your demons.

My breath
has long fleeted my lungs;
My body
is crippled tirelessly by pain;
My mind
begs for this moment to cease  

This is the moment to yield

Yet I press on...
Through the exhaustion.
Through my faltering muscles.
Through the wall of debilitation

My back is against the wall

Yet I will continue on...
Pass the limits of possibility.
Pass the boundaries of condition.
Pass the ambiguity of self.
'Till I have defeated my enemy
'or I stand before the gates of Valhalla.

My rival hits the floor

Regardless...
I can never accept Defeat
When its only separated from Victory
By a thin
           fine
               line.

I ascend its threshold

The last one for me,
I will break free.
The last one of us,
I will cause a fuss.
The last one to call,
I swear I won't fall.
The last one of theses days,
I'm changing up all of my ways.
The last one to be hurt,
I'll make sure I stay alert.
The last one,
The war has only just begun.