I got lost, confused, forgotten my Left from my right
I’ve seen her before, or It, in my Dreams, a Light
So warm, reassuring, this Light held me more than tight
Ultimately, I awoke, darkness, I lost that sight

They say, true Love waits
At times it’s difficult, a world fueled by Hate
But I know, deep down, it’s never too late
I’ll find it, that light, my soulmate

Let me tell you, I found, that light is a true beauty
Made for each other, I know, truly
I’ll do my best, I will, Her happiness is my duty
She’s just what I want, I crave, my she’s such a cutie

Even in true Love nothing goes as planned
We must fight for our Love for there are many demands
At times it may be shaky, unstable, knowing not where we’ll land
But we’ll get through it together, we’ll learn Love together, firsthand

No need to rush, we have our whole lives together
Together we’ll experience it, no matter the weather
We’ll fly together, our Love as light as a feather
Our connection deeper than blood, our Love will never tether

Worry not my Love, no need to feel insecure
I’ll mend your heart through sheer Will
Stay by my side, you’ll see there is nothing to fear
I’ll adore you for always and always, Dear.

I’ll fight for you, even if you don’t want me
I’ll guide you, even when you can’t see
I’ll care for you, even when you don’t agree
I’ll wait for you, even if you leave
I’ll pick you up, even when you’re clumsy
I’ll be your foundation, your stone, your tree
Can you see now? You and I are meant to be...

Blazing down the midnight streets, driving faster with every beat.
The higher the mile, the bigger the smile.
At this great speed, they felt at peace.
Hoping that it would finally allow them to outrun their life of greif.
Lights flicker, fingers numb.
It hurts so much.
Knives claw through the memories.
Faster.
"Please!", they cry out.
Fingers release, speeds increase.
There it was.
Clarity.
"Amy is right, Chad ***** major ***!"
She drove her pink Hummer to the sorority house.
"Yaaaaas, Queeeeeeen!"
They yelled.
"Chadsworth is gone!"
Cheers went round and their souls rebound.
But Chad was near, he always was, because Chad was an interdimensional demon.
1063629 was it's /name/
Sorority in flames, ladies Instagraming the pain.
1063629 sees this and claims
"/names not found/ feel pain! Emote!"
Empty space.
1063629 cries.
It is alone again.
Soul shattered in the war of JPSL20.
Alone in shame of loss.
Tears of an interdimensional demon.
Like glue.
Glue.
I love you too.
Glue cracked the sky.
Crazy glue.
Stuck on you.
Glue cracked the earth.
Hades ruptures beneath.
Hellspawn rise up from the shattered surface realm.
Glue.
The new savior lost, in a battle with the demon 1063629.
In 46-70 the Lord of Demetrius defeated the beast once known as; 1063629.
Glue was the cure.
Earth sealed with glue.

I tied a sausage to my leg and for a short time my ex-girlfriend was fooled.
But she dumped me flat on my *** when she learned her leg was being pulled.
Because she didn't like the deception,
I didn't receive a friendly reception.
She thought that I was well-endowed, that is what she believed.
When she learned the truth, a broken nose was what I received.
She also crammed a lit pack of firecrackers up my *** and it sure did make me jump.
Now it hurts like hell every time I take a dump.
She dumped me even though I decided to get down on my knees and beg.
If you're a man and if you want a girlfriend, don't tie a sausage to your leg.

Broke through the dark
by wounding one of its own

La luna lone

Made a hole in the heart
of my midnight

Bleeding out acetylene light

Grief is the haze

A mist shrouding reality
within these closing days

A king once told me a story,
Of a lost king that once had the mind of a visionary,
Attained glory & his identity became supreme,
The world loved him for his accolades and eminence,
If only the world would have handed him an umbrella,
he was secretly drenched by his own agony,
At midnight, his inner demons made his mind unstable,
conversations turned into a blasphemous ceremony,
His looking for a exist out of his mind,
A young woman appeared before him,
he became swayed by the taste of her lips,
Medea was her name which he overheard through the systematic paradise,
Her tender voice become severe in his mind,
Staring into her eyes led him to the abyss of confusion,
She searched his pockets of his heart for the keys to the well of his sanity,
Temptations she poured in his mind intensified & he gave in,
hypnotized by her voice, his one step from being lost,
conquered by his vices, his one step from paying the cost,
She held up her own vices and plunged it inside of him,
What a fatal decision,
“Somebody rescues me” he screamed out,
The words unsaid slit his soul,
The vine of life detached from his heart-shaped rose,
Getting insomniac,
Paranoia shifting in his mind,
Selene seem passionate tonight with her bright lights.
Blooming without illuminating nothing sincere and true,
He sat in his palace trying to,
Bend his mind towards the truth but he resisted

I didn't saw you in gold and silver sparkles
Glitters everywhere, in a slow motion type of stare
I didnt saw you in magical nights
In poetry lines, or lipsticks changing the lights
Like the spotlight's on you and I

I didn't saw you picking up the roses in the garden-filled butterflies
How the songs capture our eyes, in glimpse of heaven or disguise
I didn't saw you escaping at 12 am, enchanting spells in sacred room,
Where the color purple's only for you, but you can only see blue

I didn't saw you in fairytales
But I saw you in mine
In my little, mono-lid, honeyed eyes
Between the waking and the siesta time
I saw you in my photographs filmed in my mind
In counting hours before the class start
And haunting hours when end of school year just waved to us

I didn't saw you in someone else's portrayal of how you were painted in them
I saw you in vivid lines I wrote, in feelings I have known, fore years I won't let go.

I saw you, and I didn't want to
You saw me, I know you wanted to
But they belonged to 2018 version of my life
All the tragic had happened in 2020's
I've learned pretty much not to be fine when I'm fine.

//

.
The vessel was empty. It was always empty.
The vessel was a body. A Nobody.
Too young to fend for itself yet abandoned to face
the onslaught of a life unprepared for.
It was a satellite, a burden, an unwanted encumbrance
upon the lives of those that spawned it.
Those that should guide, educate, encourage and love.

The emptiness had begun early
and grown into a void of isolated disfunction.
The ship of emotion sailing into a dark sunset
and the cold loneliness of night seeps easy
into the vessel already devoid and senseless.

There had been early years but forgotten
were the vessels memories and experiences.
An era of ancient history with no notations,
undocumented and lost in the ether.
No sense of belonging or conformity
were instilled by those meant to teach.
Instead the blind vessel gropes dangerously
around a world unfamiliar.
To make sense of existence.
To justify its worth.

But worth is subjective.
Of no worth to its peers it protects itself
absorbing the cloak of the worthless.
A litany harshly reinforced by cruelty
dealt out by the tongues of resentful tormentors.

And so left to its own devices
attachment becomes an arbitrary concept.
The revolving door  of brief and useless association.
Meaningful liaisons few and far between
as its walls provide protection from feeling hurt.
So the vessel was a body. A Nobody.
And the vessel was empty. It was always empty.
Always... always... empty.


© Pagan Paul (Aug 2020)

The night grew darker and the babel hushed,
To their beds, the orphans rushed.
One by one sound asleep,
While through the curtain slit, Peter Pan peeped.

He crawled into the hut, silent as a grave
Played a melody, with an unusual octave.
That night had been quiet ghostly, odd and peculiar
Yet strangely enough, the orphans sensed no fear.

The melody chimed like a beautiful lullaby,
Frosty December cold seemed to have vanished, and it felt like warm July.
The misery and sorrow appeared to be ending,
As though time had stopped and reality was bending.

Soon it was morning with the crack of dawn,
But the hut lay silent, as if the children were gone.

With no guardians to search for the stray,
Lifeless bodies left on the floor, stiff and grey.
The little ones fell into a deep slumber, one with no breath,
A slumber that was led by the angel of death.

However, beneath the bed was a note that read,
“Off to Neverland, we now head”

                                                               ­                                                     -Yashaswee Das