Always and never
at the same exact time,
infinitely wondering about you
in rhyme.

It's painful and numbing,
and soothes me to sleep
yet keeps me wide awake,
dry-eyed
until I weep.

A memory of nothing
that was everything to me-
such a little long time
amidst the grand scheme.

A golden ticket to rot in hell,
a barren fate
I'll accept very well.

An altering strand
in a web of conscience,
my previous beliefs
now all make me nauseous.

A single star
with no constellation,
believe it or not-
my soul’s favorite destination.

I wish it never happened,
but I’d do it again
just to reprioritize
the time we would spend.

It’s not quite missing,
and I wouldn’t call it an ache;
my heart is perfectly fine
until she starts to break.

But if I unknew you-
if you just stayed a dream-
I’d know I’d never have to deal
with the relieving pain of your leave.