On this desk, years have been certain.
I cling to some people, let go of the rest.
The book’s pages are yet to be completed,
But I don’t want to.

There might be better places, better people, better everything.
The air around me, the living smiles everything is there.
The feeling, the racing heart, the excitement yet to be fulfilled.
But I don’t care.

Now, I don’t feel anything.
My body, my heart, my brain urge me to stop.
To stay in this state,
Where I’m numb.

The question is:
Where am I?
Why am I?
Or do I just need someone to ask,
How are you?

As Roosevelt said,
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Six simple words—
struck something deep,
A truth felt,
But never named.

We measure ourselves
against strangers and friends alike,
whispering,
“I want what they have.”
And just like that,
our joy slips through the cracks.

Comparison breeds envy,
envy turns to bitterness.
“Why them? Why not me?”
we ask,
as if fairness follows longing.

But truth is—
they’re likely looking back at you,
thinking
the *******
same

remember the feeling of falling,
before you enter the land of dreams?
i felt that in your presence,
not knowing what the future deems.

felt when I looked into your eyes,
and once our fingers intertwined.
we face an uncertain tomorrow,
with both our hearts aligned.

but no one can ever be prepared
to face dark, rainy nights,
when you've gotten used to sunny days,
and nights under bright city lights.

opened my eyes, realizing the fall.
head throbbing, but I'm awake.
was it a dream? a nightmare?
why does my chest still ache?

the line blurs between real and fake,
a memory, or a soul’s mistake?

i have not written
for days,
and it makes me feel
cursed!
Sick!


my head tilting,
dizzy with vertigos,
a nauseous  stirring
with words churning -
trapped.
what was that?
a sound?
a gasp, a sigh or a scream
or the desperation to bleed
words -
unless they break free from this prison
in my head.


the air lacks -
maybe some oxygen,
maybe some space,
despite deep breaths,
a familiar feeling -
the air being swallowed whole
before it can settle,
or submerging my face into water
bursting bubbles to fracture the silence.
maybe they are taking it all
maybe the 'words' are still wondering
if it's worth leaving,
if it's worth  escaping
a place that feeds them




how much do they need
to spark a flame -
burn
a wildfire in my head,
to set themselves free,
or carve open a wound
to spills through veins,
and smudging their escape
on parched plain  papers.



how many more days?
scraping tally marks on cemented walls
impatiently relying on these slow
screeches between seconds.

Confused soul.
A little sad, kind of bored,
still catching sparks in my head.

Twenties feel strange
especially twenty-five,
like I’m walking in shoes
that never really fit right.

Sometimes I wonder
why I think a guy could shift my world,
when most days,
I can’t even shift my mood.

It doesn’t make sense.
Maybe it’s not supposed to.
But who cares,
it’s not even realistic.

The feeling comes in waves:
quiet, weird, a bit silly.
Like I miss someone
I’ve never even met.

I’ve given myself
all the right speeches
be strong,
be your own person.
you don’t need anyone,
just live your life.

But then I think of him.
Whoever he is.
And it all feels soft
and silly again.

Like maybe I’d kiss him,
then laugh,
because it’s all so
embarrassing and human.

I ask the universe, softly,
show me the way.
Maybe I’m not lost,
or totally lost,
just letting
the quiet moments hold me.

I gave you my heart
You gave me indifference
I gave you love without condition
You gave me ultimatums
I gave you reality
You gave me fantasy
I gave you fairness and understanding
You gave me barriers and jealousy
I  willingly gave to you myself in the most difficult time of my life
You demanded from me in the most difficult time or your life
I built your confidence
You tried to rob me of mine
I gave you predictability
You gave me impulsivity
I gave to you what I hadn't given anyone else
You gave everyone else what you couldn't give to me
I gave you tenderness, affection, and chance upon chance
You gave me labels, name calling, and disdain
I gave you open spaces
You backed me into a corner
I gave you honesty and trust
I listened to you and tried to understand your perspective even when I disagreed with you
You complained that all I did was argue while often putting me in a defensive position
I left the door open for possibility
You slammed the door in my face
I tried to hold on to you for dear life
You pushed me away and discarded me as one would of trash
I lost
You won
Congratulations

Yesterday you walked across my face,
Something runs down my back.

I don't know how many verses I can use,
to describe what I felt.

My soul fell at risk,
from nostalgic memories.

A whirlwind in my heart,
and a curiosity of my soul.

The beauty of the past,
and in the desert, neither shadows nor water.

Just a little love,
and memories of fairy kisses.

Come bring the bad news.
And tell me all the ways.
You've been feeling blue.

Rest your head upon.
My shoulders.

As we gaze up at the moon.
The night is dark but there's,
Still light to be seen.

You've got a lot of living.
Left to do.

Can't leave your life.
Up to fate.

Hoping you can change.
The chances of the game.

Your life is in your hands,
My dear.

Like the dark it can play,
At being a trickster too.

For a little while you can.
Rest your worries here.

Underneath the stars so bright.
Till the morning light comes through.

Only then when it appears.
I hope you don't feel blue.

If somehow you do.
I've got enough warmth.
For two.

It’s a longing that runs deep
It’s a fire that lights it
It’s a blaze that you seek
It’s a desire that falls neat
It’s a blush that you heat
It’s a lust that you whip
It’s a whisper that feels cheap
It’s a lump that you dip
It’s a tear that you lick
It’s a feeling that leaves quick

It’s a Lover who felt sick