It's broken, scattered in pieces, in shreds.
What was immoveable, now is crumbled.
It morphed from spool into puny threads
And got so futile and so unrequired.

All is gone, both faith, and repentance.
And what is now, no meaning, no goal.
No one needs excuses or blaming.
Neither of those who needed are gone.

All is trampled down, mixed up.
All is stupidly wasted in whole.
And only one mediocre Zero
Is stayed with no shame at all.

Late night poem in bed
For the late-night dreamers and criers.
I know
This will probably get lost,
Lost in translation or tangled up in your thoughts,
But I hope when you find it,
It also finds you back.

This is my virtual hug but also a reminder
To allow yourself to dream,
Allow your mind to wander.
That’s what keeps your spark lit;
And be your guide forever,

Through the ups and the downs,
Wherever life takes you
Don’t you ever forget, that Gods always with you.


Truly,
With every word written,
Big or small,
I hope it fuels your imagination
And ignites your soul.
I know it feel heavy
Carrying the weight of the world
It can get so lonely
But know you’re not alone

So dare to dream, gentle soul
Hold on to them real tight
Let the midnight mooon reaffirm your existence,
And lift you toward the light,
Even for a moment,
Or only just for the night,
Until you finally break free, and everything feels Alright. ✨

Friends go to church on Sundays and girl sleeps in.
Friends wear tiny little crosses on their necks and she wears nothing.
Friends believe in a divine, arbitrary, God and she believes in nothing.

“She is more of a scientific girl,” she says.
“God created the universe,” they say.
“The Big Bang created the universe.”
“Well, why did the Big Bang happen?” They ask.
“Scientists do not know but it is not because of a God,” she says.

Yes, she turns to science and friends turn to their tiny pretty cross necklaces.
She likes science because science is reliable. science is consistent, does not forget, does not lie, does not exile you for making one mistake.

Maybe that is why she does not believe.
Not because she thinks herself above them.

But because she is afraid.

“Do not fall for tricks of the devil,” they say but she has fallen for the snake's lies many of times and relished in it every. single. instance.

She is Eve and has taken from the poison tree again and again.
That is why she is afraid.
Because if Heaven is real then she would go to Hell.

“God is all forgiving,” they say.

Lies, Adam and Eve ended up lying in a pile of broken promises and death at the end, didn’t they?

If God was so forgiving, would he forgive her for having more sins than she does hairs on her head?
If God was so forgiving would he forgive her for losing faith?
If God was so loving then why would he curse her with this fate?

If God believed in love, why doesn’t he love her? Why does he not love me?

It was cold. Outside and in it was cold! You know it would be warm where ever you brought me. I knew too. Two lost hearts walking with out holding hands. That would come later and one heart would find salvation. Cobblestone and brick the color of blood basking in our desired misery. My desired misery that you remedied one time, one night. I would give that back now if I could. It is better to be alone and loved than unwanted and discarded. It is better to be alone and loved, than unwanted and alone. Like a carrot on a stick, tease, all of it. I would give that all back to you my friend. All of it, I no longer feel my heart flutter with your name, I feel my stomach tie and growl. I do not want your life in mine. Not this way, not at all, poor thing, old love. I might live less but my soul is ok. Its a new year, I will breathe until I can not and I will sing.

Never a day has passed

that my heart did not break
as our Sun hides behind Earth.
When the dawn wakes
lids separate, I stretch and yawn
Another shift sifting mirth from dearth
Holding together this disparate ache

Where too, shall my soul seek immortality?
It hath been found in work and people — 
Are they not noble pursuits?
But Death they found, surrendered, feeble.

Heaven called, why not try I?
So sought and found sweet streams.
Rested but for a while — 
Until consciousness awoke my dreams.

Did not Shakespeare claim the pen,
Is mightier than the sword?
Now keys replace ink,
But still, words cannot be ignored.

Words create our worlds,
What doth they saying of you?
Breath sweeps o’er the mountains
Worry not the truth is still true.

they took the light of your soul
and then put it out.
they said that it wasn't on purpose,
but you are the one
who's fading with every night,
the shadows are creeping inside,
it's harder to tell the time
when there's no sun in sight.

they said you don't have much to offer,
an empty vessel for their god.
they stole the light of your soul
just so they could put it out.

These emotions are powerful they surge right  through my chest
Chasing them around room they suddenly infest
First silent as they swirl between you and I
It doesn't take long for them to multiply
Soon they swarm every object we see
Easy to play victim instead of trying to agree
But there are zero casualties because we aren't at war
Blindness makes me wonder what we're doing this for
You think righteously but you couldn't be more wrong
Baseless accusations you build argument upon
Just the latest in series of false beliefs you create
Sick the way your perspective chooses to exaggerate
My veins get so hot blood begins to boil
Shieldless facing remarks insisting I'm not loyal
Onyx pupils boring holes my direction
Void between us growing as you describe each imperfection
Systematically pulling apart every sentence dared to speak
Pre-existing wounds deepening until blood starts to leak
Until becoming so quiet you could hear our hearts beating
Slowly breaking
Carefully retreating
Uneasiness creeping like a draft under the door
Whispering
"Things never will be as good as they were before"
These helpless doubts wander through skull all night
Impossible questions kept awake til morning's light
Until poor soul is weighed down by despair
Tears blur my vision
Uncertainty put into my stare
My worrying in vain because it doesn't change anything
Non-existent compassion in your movements and it stings
Apparently don't have enough empathy to spare
Tangle up sanity by showing how little you care
While absorbing tension permeating air like a sponge
Hopes now flattened on the floor where they plunged
Words discarded like empty cola cans
Insults echoing like clang of pots and pans
From head to toe happiness is now crushed
Cuts could heal if only our fingertips brushed
Delicate balance of respect instantly would be restored
Neck removed from guillotine if you'd lower your sword
I don't encourage tables to turn
Just want us to both sit down
Pull knives out each other's backs and erase each frown
I wish us both to wear matching expressions of joy
Our feelings reset to a setting where our opinions didn't annoy
But for that to happen a gigantic amount of willpower is required
Fear we are not soft enough for animosity to permanently retire
But honestly hate distance between skin more than I'll ever admit
The path our steps are walking on is one I refuse to quit
I'll pour more energy into every single action I do for you
Even wasted at least my intentions are true
I'll collect memories and box up special moments we had
Store somewhere deep within to bask in when I'm sad
This might be hard this second but I have faith it won't last long
We can solve problems because our love is pure and strong