We all grow.
Your closest friends seem to be leaving.
Yes we were kids I know,
We could be what we were pretending.
Like astronauts, presidents,
super heroes, firemen.
Those were simple days
When we were kids just playing games.

But now...

Gold chains glow.
For some reason I’m still dreaming.
All the kids I know
Are needing something to believe in.
Money, drugs, ***, poverty,
Liquor stores, and partying.
If this isn’t the real world is this all just still a game?

And now...

Time moves slow.
It seems like I was only dreaming.
We’re not the kids I know.
It’s really hard to keep believing in
Truth, love, and honesty.
So drop the chains, let’s sail these seas.
We could write stories about what we have failed to be.

I heard that tone twice,
Once to tell me of failed love,
Then that ours was too.

i never ran out of words.
i'd see the night sky and i could describe it in a hundred ways --
i could say it was the ocean reflecting the twinkling lights above;
or maybe a moonlit path now visible through the waves.

i'd feel the wind brushing my cheek
and write about how it tousled my hair into messy tendrils--
how it plays with the leaves one moment
and the next leaves them astray under warmly-lit streetlamps.

oh i could write for endless hours
about disasters, impossibilities, probabilities
and i never ran out of words.

there are twenty-six letters in the alphabet and they never failed me.

but then i saw you.

Memories drift in and out like tides
I see them so clear,
despite the dust added over the years.
Felt the sunshine and felt the rain,
Even conquered storms
but scars remain.
Every tear that falls down here
is to wish you could hear...
What you did was a blunder
I feel devastated.
Dreams turned into nightmares,
And love like this wasn't meant for me.
My feelings for you was a sin,
slipping through my hands like my fate
Washing over me like I've failed every moment.

I keep looking for perfect
in everything that isn't you.

Trapped in a future I never desired,
The heartaches and pain trap me high in my spire
Of grief. Relief is a state which I've never attained,
Through the years and the tears, my mind lies twisted and maimed.
Unbroken and eternal, this chain of my failures
Will adorn my body; no temple, a trailer.

I never did learn to meditate.
I couldn't clear the mind of cluttered thoughts.
Dark, disturbing, anxious, irritating--
They know no boundaries...
What? You're trying to calm your mind
Of earthy thoughts, temporal things,
Ha! I'll be certain you can't.
And you heave and shudder and pant
I tend to squirm from the sound and blinking lights
Oh heavens--
Why can't I reach you?
You failed. You lost. You're in trouble. You're worthless.
You're soon to die--
And on and on, the voices pry
If I can meditate, I'll clear my mind
Unlock my creative potential
Solve the problems that otherwise have me wish to die
But yet, in the seeking
Of steady thoughts, insight, removal left
I've only acquired
Dark thoughts inspired...
By jostled calm,
Failed meditation.