I feel cold as life washes by.
Colder than if I had died.
Even in the flames of hate I warmed slowly.
Back then my hate was simply growing.
Then the burning left. Again I was lonely.
Colder than a stone in ice is how I am.
I think of those flames and I feel them again.
Charred black but suddenly red hot.
Remembering what I wish I'd forgot.
All I am is a stone.
More so than flesh and bone.

Apparently, we were there
holding each other,
Inside, trying our best
to keep it together.  

But, honestly we both knew
Our bodies were there
But, love had left.

you ask me why I look at you
but never say a word
and you tease me--
with the sweetest lack of mercy--
to chase the sadness from my eyes...

but I am afraid.

I fear to shatter the essence of the warmth I feel for you.

for,
if I could tear my heart from myself,
and offer it to you,
though my hands tremble,
and my eyes fade,
and my lips turn gray with stillness,

I would--

if only to answer your question.

if only because,

"I love you"

is not enough.

They only fade
Never die
Not until the day
We fly

You are a firework,
Big, colorful, beauty, bright.

The only problem with fireworks,
Is that they always fade to soon.

don't fade away, please

it faded like slavery
but the screams will not.
not this time
not with this much
involvement
my body,  a strawberry

strawberry,  begging for fondue
slavery begging for an end
involvement is too exhausting
nor giving any relief,  so
much energy spent slowly,  as if dripping
time wasted

wasted time, wasted life, dipped in a bitter
fondue, unpleasant and messy
dipping of bitter lips until the bitter
end, *** empty,  needs washing, another
exhausting task, requiring to much
involvement, too much effort

Effort is what i can't give, I'm
bitter about that and angry. With too
much resentment, just growing inside me. More
messy baggage,
another issue, as if I don't already have enough. So im
bitter,  so what?

What difference does it make?
I'm to battered for repair,
I'm to exhausted for any attempt at anything

I'm not saying that I'm not capable of it.
I'm just saying;
I'm not meant for it.

I wish I could remember your face from that dream,
and I wish that I knew what life really means.
Wont you come closer? Come closer love.
Watch the seasons change,as blood drips down from above.

So I disconnect, & I fade away,
and I pray tomorrow a better day.
YES I PRAY TOMORROWS A BETTER DAY

All I want is for you to just leave me alone.
There's no longer fear. I just wanna go home.
So many scares, I'm beaten up again.
So many people lost we once called friends.

So I disconnect and I disappear,
but I fear the moment of truth is near,
YES I FEEL THE MOMENT OF TRUTH IS NEAR.

I wish I could remember your face from that dream,
and I wish that I knew JUST what life really means.
Wont you come closer, come closer MY love.
I WANNA SEE IF YOU CAN GUESS JUST WHAT I'M THINKING OF.

I WISH WE COULD REMEMBER THAT LIFE IS BUT A DREAM.
I WISH I COULD SOON ADMIT MYSELF TO EVERYTHING.
I'VE BEEN BLIND FOR SO LONG, BUT I'VE BEGAN TO SEE.
I HAVE FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, AND THIS IS MY VICTORY.