Tied around me hands binded,
Ecstasy and soul merging
Merging into tightness
Tightness there like the fear of insanity
It wont let go, they wont let go
Please let go

On the floor of a box inside my mental ward of fear
I liked being lusted but this scares me dear
Out from breast and neck flows red
And im convincing myself im a flower gently opened,
But u maul flesh with no token yet
Lungless u hold the red rope
Please let go

U love me dont u love me u must if u hurt me?
Enclosured no exposure to the truth
Selfishly u took all my youth
Even moonlight cant brighten you
My organs are all over its glow
Orange and salt and red rope and you
Oh may this rope frey!
Am i at fault for being ur prey?


I am free
Am i free? The box is now gone
And now the orange is also gone!
But flesh no longer mingles with its own blood
Its red rope and poison
All covered up

It's intelligence that's 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨,
Emotion 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨?
Is logic 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨?
But no, you;
You're all three.
𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺; 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺,
That's why everything
Seems so confusing,
Right?

I've grown accustomed to loss,
Felt it in ways I never imagined
Opportunities slipping away,
Loved ones fading into memory,
Moments I can never reclaim.
I've lost so much
That I've learned to live in the now,
To hold on tightly,
To cherish what remains.
Each loss has left me with lessons,
Fragments of wisdom I never asked for.
But is losing truly a loss
When it leaves behind so much wisdom?
Still, no matter how much I learn,
It always hurts.

It is a bizarre

story, so amazingly --


recognisable!

The thought of a café or club
both make my heart rate rise.
Or going to cafés and stores;
even sometimes just outside.

I’m tired of sitting, so lonely,
so sick of staying inside.
So tired of choosing to stare at screens,
but I’m afraid to experience life.

While it seems a good solution,
it just makes me more upset.
I crave to be there, mind devoid of fear;
it seems impossible, nonetheless.

Inside is comfortable, I can’t deny,
but crushing; keeps me up each night.
I could stay inside my cave all day,
‘cause I’m afraid to experience life.

I sit frozen on my floor,
stomach sour and mind awhirl.
My palms and feet are getting sweaty,
fingers pulling at my curls.

So, I study how to take control
of a mind in fight-or-flight.
It will still spiral at outings mentioned,
but I’ll work toward experiencing life.

Just experience.
Experience what's in front of you.
See it. Feel it. Smell it. Hear it. Touch it. Taste it. No judgement. Pure exploration.

Jack of all trades,
master of none,
but oftentimes better
than master of one.