I don't expect to understand
I don't like expectation
I understand I don't expect to get such information.

Four years old, I wish I could see
Fell off that sycamore tree, and as my daddy
bandaged my knee
I whispered quietly to him
"Daddy, what did you expect me to do?"

Nine years old, locked myself in my room
Mean kids at school, calling me things like they
had proof
I wrote on my wall
"Daddy, what did you expect me to do?"

Fourteen years old, the principal called him as
tears ran down my cheeks
My boyfriend had cheated on me so I slapped
him and detention is where I ended up in
He picked me up and I yelled at him
"Daddy, what did you expect me to do?"

Sixteen years old, held the note tightly in my
hand
Hopeless and crying, I kicked off the chair
Loosened grip so he could read
"Daddy, I'm sorry I never was what you expected me to be."

in the most
simplistic way
i wanted him
and sometimes
i wanted all of him,
every season of his
mind and body
i wanted
cutesy notes on monday
slurred i love you friday nights
lazy sunday morning breakfast
then again
i never expected anything
from him
as much as i would have loved
to be under his skin
it was enough for my heart
to simply be
on his skin

In our graceful gray
I searched for entity golden.
You summoned me
with a silver smile

and a fervor lit so close,
****** vapors threatened to ignite
the embers which teased my core,

singeing a trail of teeny
hairs.

I inhaled your
exhale;

***
curled around my tongue
like smoke

What tragedy has seeked me out this year, I know not.
For in hope I expected, but t'was disappointment I got.