She,
Were bright, and watered,
With the benevolent adoration
She blooms, unwithered.
But only at first.

Then she were glued,
To an unrealistic standard.
Of beauty,
Of what she will become.

Of other people,
To other people,
With other people.

People
Change attitude
Blame every minute

You
Stay calm
Watch them stray

Love
Separation dictators
Poison your relationships

You stare surprised
Of what
Happened

Loneliness, betrayal succeeded
Left with
Nothing

Expectation ruined everything
Love sank
Life

©sim

I ain't picking up my heart
off the floor this time
you want to say something
then get in line

so sick of people
with there expectations
I don't want to be
the next sensation
you got your opinions
don't bring them around here
I couldn't care less
What you think my dear

Don't go dragging me down
Just cuz you've got no one
to push around
I ain't your little puppet
I ain't your man
You shouldn't go
******* with someone
You can't handle

I ain't picking up my heart
off the floor this time
you want to say something
then get in line

so sick of people
with there expectations
I don't want to be
the next sensation
you got your opinions
don't bring them around here
I couldn't care less
What you think my dear

Just stop, reminisce
I don't need you all up
in my face like this
excuse me miss
could you stop telling me
How I should live
Cuz I don't give a ****
you can **** on this...

I ain't picking up my heart
off the floor this time
you want to say something
then get in line

so sick of people
with there expectations
I don't want to be
the next sensation
you got your opinions
don't bring them around here
I couldn't care less
What you think my dear

Don't really care
About all these people
Heading my way
They may go acting
like there **** don't stink
But their nose is in their ***
Don't you think
What are yall saying
You don't know me
Wait...Have I told you my story?

I ain't picking up my heart
off the floor this time
you want to say something
then get in line

so sick of people
with there expectations
I don't want to be
the next sensation
you got your opinions
don't bring them around here
I couldn't care less
What you think my dear

©2018 Written By Benji James

I have this calling that I'm trying to ignore
Because it goes against the grain of societal norms.
But without a hand in, I'm suffocating.
The tide pulls me in and I want to obey...
I want to.
But I fear the coiled tongue of those around me,
Will lash out like darts to pierce the one veil of security within me.
And then there's the injustice it would do to my ethnicity--so proud of hymnals built on crosses and prayers that if I falter...I feel I fail them and all the generations before me.
It hurts.
To think that pent-up aggression and hatred towards myself for being a coward could ever feel so --lonely.
I want to feel the rush of energy from the cool grass beneath me as,
I kick off my sandals and embrace my soul,
Through the soles of my feet.
It is a wanted thing...
A passion burning much like whiskey down a ****** throat.
Except this one is all-encompassing.

i do my thing
and you do your thing

i am not in this world to live up to your expectations
and you are not in this world to live up to mine

you are you
and i am i

and if by chance we find each other

it's beautiful

My heart is ticking like a bomb,
Beaten like a dusty rug,
Still ticking like a bomb.
Unbroken, unwavering
But ticking like a bomb
Not unbruised
Not yet fatally wounded
Still  ticking like a bomb
My heart is....
Strong but not hard.
And ticking like a bomb
Safe in its own discontent.
My heart is...ticking like a bomb.