Go back to sleep
It whispers to me
With my head in my hands
While my body and all I am
Fall deeper in uncertainty

Go back to sleep
It whispers softly
Doing so delicately
Cautions as to not make me
Feel guilty

Go back to bed
We'll watch out for danger
And have an ear for strangers
So you could sleep instead

Go back to bed
You need your rest
We understand your reasoning
But right now its not what's best

Please,
Go back to sleep
Listen to our expertise
Before you find yourself too deep

Lay down to sleep
Our dearest lamb
We know it's hard
We understand

We've felt the burden on your soul
And while we'd help you out of any hole
Before we must
Could we first try what we've discussed

Please,
Go back to sleep
You can trust
We're proud of you just for trying
But you have done enough

i wanted horns, i wanted a tail,
i never wanted wings
because i grew roots first

muffled
were all the things i said
for it wielded hurt,
it was draped in poetic pain
no matter the season
and swarmed with a repulsive passion
i cannot love you for your wings
i want the scars, your scars
or the cut open bled out
parts of you
that i can resuscitate with every last of the air within me

or the ones that still bleed too
and i ll drink them dry when
i can't heal them
i will grow you wings
i will chew into the living and dead and angels and gods
i would eat the unborn
i would possess the dead
to feed it to you just so you can fly
just so you know me
see me

but **** i am tired,
i thought it was just my mind
but no i am old
so many centuries lived trying to
match and compete and triumph over myself
in being able to love,
in being able to know
do i have anything more left to give you?
no i will have to pretend like i do
which i cannot
so i don't know

I have seen everything
From top to bottom
Every little freckle
Every little scar

I kissed those scars
Kissed the pain away
Even if it returned

There's always going to be scars
Not only his
I did the best I could
To heal him

I gave everything
My mental health
My social relationships
My body
My soul

All for what?
To get a thank you?
For him to do the things he promised he wouldn't
Again

Would I do it again?

Don’t leave me here alone
Where I can’t see
Where the light won’t consume me whole
When it was never meant to be

I’ve wished on a shooting star
that isn’t really there
And God forbid I stay in that
Place where no one really cares

But I can’t run forever
From this inevitable cave in
A hundred shattered glasses
With bloodstains that I kin

Melted sand, whatever,
it’s my own ****** loss
But not even the fine print
Ever told me the cost

To being alive
To waking up per day

So if I stay in the darkness
Don’t be surprised if I don’t come out again.

The heart of a writer is frail, like that of a flower waiting to be plucked. Life itself, or love, could uproot it, for no rhyme or reason.

I hate to say that my heart has been salted by the woes of man.
This never-ending race has left me wanting for watering.
Hang my heart on your wall with the others to dry out, my love.
I'm tired and weary—I need rest.

Unrelatedly,
I’ve lost my appetite.

The war between,her,me and she

Funny a tale I tell you

"Her" was me a minute ago

So malleable, gullible
Easy to stir

But "her" was happy
Holding unto a dark mural

"Me" is I now

Lessons from "her"shaped me

To let go of steam
From others action

That some ain't -
Worth fighting for

"She" is my future
The all control
I want to be

Some war ain't-
worth fighting for

I'm letting go of "her",
"Me" in progress
So that "she" can live