"What is the world coming to?" They say,
******, ****, stealing, and lying.
"How did we let it come to this?" They shout,
betrayal, lust, spying and dying.
Oh sweet ignorance,
is it not such bliss,
have you not seen this work was always like this?
We have killed for years,
while drinking victim's tears,
playing on fears,
to control our peers.
Murdering many for the sake of few,
under the facade that "it was always for you!".
But when will we turn the lights on,
and illuminate the room,
finally seeing our bloodied hands,
and our selfish doom.
When will we stop pretending it is for love,
and no longer say it is for a power that is above.
When will we look into the mirror's eyes,
and see that we have become what we despise.

...to see me cry?
To watch me break?
To see me die

Slowly,
Inside myself.

I've put my heart
up on a shelf.

I bet you hate me
I know you do.

I mean, what else
could be your excuse?


l.r.

Anticipating discomfort
as high heels climb stairs
with light steps to avoid clicks.
Attempt to dodge the cigarette brigade
with quick nods and hellos.
Finally on their floor with labored breathing.
They are so loud- heard down the hall.
Behind the door there are friends
waiting for the next best topic.
Greeting friends,
drunk and drinking more.
Open the door to
loud friends,
laughing over each others voices.
The only thing worse than the clamor
is the spilt stout that nobody noticed.
But hugs and wise cracks are still in order.
Holding hands with a cup of speaking serum,
with eyes that already seek a clock.
It's too early, we've only just got here.
Obligation to talk.
Spy the lascivious in peripherals-
in the corners of the room.
What languid lovers narcotics make.
High stakes with low gains,
leaves mouths with ****** tastes.
Words exchanged in witty waste.
Spy the conversations that selective hearing
couldn't rid
about you- about him, about them
and the trouble we're in.
Avoid eye-contact, but answer to
"What's going on with you? New job?"
with a smile and a nod and an "It's cool."
Burning desire for an air
without so many ****** breaths.
Someone is hurling in the bathroom-
and friends are singing desperation.
Tap toes and fidget,
avoid more conversation.
Everyone is so involved, now.
Gravitating around the life
of the party.
The foyer's empty.
A platinum opportunity.
Fake a bathroom break.
Apartments don't have back-doors,
and comings a regret.
Slip past the lazy leg bridges.
No one's looking yet.
In between coffee tables and couches.
No one's looking, yet.
but some are rising for the night trips
of cancer indulgence.
Jet for the door and ever so
silently
close it when you're beyond
for relief.
The air is already colder-
slip off the heels and run barefoot
in to the rest of the night,
safe and alone with yourself
and your secrets.
Ignore the question texts.
Houdini?
Disappearing acts.
No, you're Candy.
you don't let them in your heart.
Ignore the question texts,
don't explain yourself next time either.

It is too hard,
why should I try?
to go that extra mile,
when the opportunity will fly on by.
There is too big of a cost,
why should I leap?
what if we end up lost?
and the devil has my soul to keep.
Tell yourself these words everyday,
and life passes you by,
and you sit and play.
Let these words sit in your head,
as you sit alone,
lying in your bed.
But there are others who will not be like you,
others who are like lions,
the kings to break out of this zoo.
There are others who are not like you,
they say I can when they should not,
and do not give it a second thought.
Those are the men who will stand atop a mountain,
looking down upon you,
and ******* in your drinking fountain.
Those are the men who will succeed because they believed,
while you sat and gave every excuse you could bleed.

I've been making making excuses to come see you.
To drive out that far.
                                    But.
                                    When will you be the excuse I use-
                                    To come do something else-

Ich will keine Ausreden brauchen
zu bleiben oder gehen;
ich will nur die Fähigkeit haben
zu bleiben oder gehen als es mir beliebt.

-

I don't want to need Excuses
to stay or go;
I just want to have the Ability
to stay or go as it pleases me.