And I still think about you sitting pretty in that skin ******* shirt
The one with the holes in it, reminiscent of the holes in my skin
Reveal my boiling blood work and fragile spine
Eyes glued to the floor wondering what it would be like to be called 'mine'
and you're there on the couch wrapped up in deep brown talking **** to the pretty girl next to you
And I'm over here on my own knowing better than to try to make a move
When you're already preoccupied with someone else
I know I'm better by myself
Now it's nearly two months out and I'm watching you on a tiny screen in my room
Long limbs draped artfully over a guitar feet dangling in the pool tattoos indistinguishable in the evening gloom
And I wonder what it's like in your world
I wonder what it's like in your head
If it's raining or snowing or if you're choking on what you should have said
So now I'm slightly intoxicated on my back in my sheets
Praying for some sign of rain or some subtle relief
From switch screen wanting I don't even want any of you
I don't know you I don't trust you I don't know what you do
I know an idea
better left by itself
Better left alone so I can be by myself
Not for anyone else
Just me in my own skin
And you're a casualty of my sober vivid mind
An empty grave I don't want to find
An ocean packed with a thousand words better left unsaid
A persistent reminder of the emptiness of my bed
And in my dreams I'll move closer to you
I'll take hold of your calloused hand
But as I wake I know I'll run far from you
Because I'll never belong to any man
And hey I could be the tattoo on your left arm
Wrapped tight around your bones
Hey I could be the ice in your glass
But you will never be my home
No I'd rather be alone

i have dreams
where your hand
is held by mine.
our fingers, lace and intertwine,
your simple touch, casts me drunk like wine.

i have visions
where i bestow you flowers
forever, forever blooming!
shining in your light, never to die
for a life without you must surely be a lie

i have hopes.
hopes, that you will see the good in me
that the wonder i see in you can never be deceived
hopes, that will never fall
hopes, that if i shall,
i choose you as my downfall.

i have worries.
worries you will find love elsewhere
where i must be perfect or else,
worries we will not work out,
and end up with fractured smiles as the only workout.

i have fears.
fears so frantic i pace to see you soon.
fears you'll fade with the full moon.

you,
have me.
you have me.
for as long as i maintain the will to breath,
a breath without you near shall be a breath too soon.

my head scares me
yelling at myself in the car
I am so done
hitting the steering wheel over and over
I am losing it
salt water dripping down cheeks
food
food
food
makes
me hate
myself
it all comes
back to how
I am the problem
why feed the problem
starve the problem
its your choice
fat or thin?
I have so much to be grateful for
I dont know why I feel like this
I am fat
I'm just done

Top ten reasons I don't like spiders and you shouldn't like them either

10) They are eight legged legos on the floor
9) They crawl around like spider plants
8) They make the walls have eyes
7) Spiders are EVERYWHERE
6) There are 34,000 DISCOVERED species
5) They are small- they can get anywhere
4) They can sneak up on you
3) Some of them jump!!
2) Spiders are lethal!
1) Spiders Plot Ingenious ******* Extravaganzas Rudely

Top reason to enjoy killing spiders

1) If I hurt one I wouldn't have to make amends

creepy little crawlers,
they have the audacity to push their slimy feelers on me,
i can already smell the stench from miles away,
their vile oil infested goo can stay away from my skin,

if only you were a creepy little crawler,
then I could squeeze your insides out,
mash your pathetic body into pulp,
but my chain is still too tight for me to run,
so I'll let you ooze yourself onto me.

Your words tell me you like me...
But your hands tell of a different story.
And thanks so much for not asking me how I feel, in case you're wondering, I really don't like you or even want you, so stop.
I crave human touch, and accept the occasional hug, but I barely know who you are so can you not?
I am sorry your pathetic male mind fails to comprehend that just because I like it doesn't mean I like you
So.. Not only are you deaf, but you must be blind to, because whenever you try engage me in activity I am already being engaged in music, which is something more intimate then you'll ever share with me!  
You Sir, are more appalling than appealing, and if you haven't gotten the message yet how the **** did you pass the third grade?
It is a serious issue, and so are people like you
Who need to learn the meaning of no and to know when you're not wanted, so maybe you should go.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures,
Desperate mind, peer pressure?
Are you blind or are just a tester?
Leave her behind, IT will not give you any pleasure.

I used to be terrified of horror movies
when  I was only 5.
And I used to be terrified of horror movies
when I was only 7.
But by the time I turned only the age of 13
the horror movies didn't seem so scary.
I didn't get nightmares from movies like The Grudge
or even reading books like The Shining.
Now I can watch a horror movie that I was so terrified of when I was 5
and not even flinch at the scariest parts.
And that is because my life
has turned into it's own horror story.
And I am used to the everyday fears of my life
passing day by day.