My body still searches for you
In a sea of bedsheets and stuffed animals.

I try to mimic the warmth of your arms around me.
I, once again, fail miserably...
Just like I did when you packed up and left.

My hands sleepily clasp at nothingness.
I am half asleep,
Just at the stage before waking up,
Desperately trying to find any semblance of you.

I was always told my insomnia was the reason for my lack of rest.
But what do we call it when I can not fall asleep without you beside me?

Everything can be nothing.
When it's too much.
Or just a little.
I have no middle or inbetween.
I have nothing but everything.
I've seen everything.
But I can do nothing.
When I saw nothing,
I thought I could do everything.
Turned out it was nothing.

Everything I learned brought me to nothing.
And I feel everything and it takes me to nothing.
Even if I could write down everything.
Nobody would see it actually happening.
But I can't write down nothing or everything.
I can't sing everything and everything is nothing.
So I write and sing just something.
But in that something is everything.

And when I'm singing everything it's too much.
So it's nothing.
So everything is nothing.
Like a little bit of everything.
Is nothing.
Today I wanted everything.
Yesterdag I wanted nothing.
I'm longing for something or someone that feels like everything.
Someone or something that is everything!

Everything I can't be.
Nothing I have ever felt.
Like nothing can make me feel.
Like everything does not matter.
But I can't find nothing or everything.
When I can feel almost everything it turns back into nothing.
So I'm longing for just something.
Or someone that's everything!

Don't be everything.
Be my everything.
My chameleon is so lonely.
Don't you see his sad looking eyes?
Longing for something that can make him feel like he is everything!

"What are you thinking about?"
"You. Me. The world. Life. Happiness."
You smile and say "is that all?"
"You know me.
I think about everything.
What are you thinking about?"
"Well, I WAS worrying.
About bills. Insurance. Our health. The future.
But then you distracted me."
"And what are you thinking about now?"
"That I wish I had your optimism.
But for now, no more worrying. It's time to breathe.
I'm just glad to be here in this moment with you."

I know I can't be everything to you
But I can be something
That something is the best thing
It's the thing you'll love
You'll love to have

I don't want to be your everything
I want to be a golden something
The one thing you love
And more of that one thing
Is the everything I offer

That one magic thing you want
It's everything I am
It's everything I want to be
It's everything to be that one thing
It's everything for me

If I give you my everything
I know I can be that something
That beautiful thing
That you need in your life
It's my everything
It's me

Can you miss something you never had?

You can only miss something if you had it because

If you never felt how it was to have it and then proceed to like it,

Is it even possible to miss it?

Can you miss something you never felt?

I feel a sense of adhuri

Why do I not feel complete?

I’m missing something

What i want the most in life...,
To know,
To know everything,
Not to become any king,
Just want to know,
To know everything,
As long as i am moving.