glued together with bonds of failing marriages,
engagements don't survive and the kids are leaving home.
tied down and trying to escape with death's carriage.
my family isn't much, but it's better than being alone.
university is soon, but i'm full of such disparage
i don't want to be me, i just want to roam.

my poetry is barely audible, hitting the wall and falling
flat against listening ears. is this all i'll amount to?
writing alone - at 3 am - always missing my calling?
life's gambling, i realise, i can't help but feel blue

I just wanna be alone
To feel silence to my bones
To sit and soak in solitude from all of you and turn to stone
To walk home and lose all of what I’ve known

Relish the selfish urge to purge the hurt
shelve this drone of words learned to cope under burdens spoke from our hopes into existence

A frame we placed to filter days from pain we tried to hide but blissful wishes died when those viscous lips of irony kissed us.

And watched reality twist us

So I need a minute
Forgive me or don’t
I see the judges gaze flare but I won’t dwell in it
I’ll be a ghost

Wrecked in the specter
Sector
Costumes tossed to the soul inspector
Lost forever on the road to a goal we expected to erode following cold sweat dreams deemed detrimental to the airships failing fuel injector

Time to get vague I think
Fly through the page and sink,
softly off the couch into the floor
to watch the ceiling fan pour air over a man
Lying but standing alone
Prone but brandishing
Handfuls of stones to throw

Stolen WiFi can’t repair
Windows to the life I knew
When the wind blows remnants Of a drive by through
To consume my attention with mistakes I made but hesitate to mention over this tie dye brew

This mix in my cup sticks to my gut and fails to repair the limp in my strut
I’m careful with the innocent buzz built to bury regret and I’m not even drunk yet so kiss my ****.

everyday i want to say goodbye
instead of hello, bonjour, hi
everyday i want to seclude myself
instead of escaping this shelf

as i mingle with other people,
i see myself laughing,
laughing without feelings,
smiling with a heavy heart

i thought i healed, i succeeded,
this thorn pierced on my chest,
but it was all a lie,
i was anesthetized with illusions

what i always thought,
what i always felt;
all this time, i wasted,
to feel what i had to for myself

it always seemed like you could never be mine
always too good for me
always someone better than me for you to love.
until you were mine...
the chase filled my eyes my heart my soul with adoration for you.
but when you finally wanted me to be yours, you wanted the whole world to know
which led me to wonder why you weren't content with just me.
always going to show off to the world what you have
show her off as your latest capture
your greatest possession.
temporarily, as nothing is ever here to stay.
and i present the first damper you put on our relationship.
a month is all we lasted.
i couldn't do it anymore
i lost my best friend pretending he could be my first lover.
or did i lose someone who loved me while i convinced myself he was just a friend.
closure will never be given as i dont know the answers to your questions.
but you dont even know how to ask the questions anymore.
but you still have the ability to snap me in two with a single decision.
and when you move on i can guarantee my heart will ache.
and theres nothing left for me to do
because i was the one to let you go.
and now ill never know what we could have been
because youre right, i gave up too easily.