This room was taught to hold its breath,
When I return through sideways doors.
It never asks for confessions or depth—
Just witnesses how silence feels as thorns.

The world outside is daytime hinged.
But my world was stitched in neon dusk.
A phantom fang lives deep within
And bites each time I build my trust.

I move in patterns, accidentally bound—
In rituals of coping that lasted too long.
The hours know where I'll be found—
Beside myself, unwillingly wrong.

The ***** laundry I clean but don't.
A second shadow nailed at my heel.
The lamp that needs a light disagrees.
Between being fake and being who I feel.

I keep it clean—or clean enough—
My eyes are dry; my voice is clear.
My morbid truth, dressed in common fluff.
Always finds a way to disappear.

The soul—if that’s still something I hold—
Is brined in need, like selfish sin.
This isn’t wanted or considered bold.
  It's survival masquerading as skin.

I never meant to dig this much,
My lack of harmony buried in song.
But a body that's balanced upon a crutch
Is still a body—just not as strong.

I’ve made a friend with myself detached,
Though he eats a lot more than he feeds.
Whispers like he knows he's an accident.
This teaches me, what my own silence means

The habits aren't even the worst of me—
It’s what remains when they're gone.
The way my lungs choose not to breath.
Choosing not to breathe all on their own.

So, I exist in the lowercase,
Half-typed and never quite complete.
But even glitches need their place—
So here I am, on loop. On repeat…

The clock in my head ticks counterclockwise,
As my sense of time then loses its hands.
Their shadows start lapping the room’s empty walls.
It’s then that I start to think I understand.

Some Familiar faces, they just looked my way,
But when I look back, I see the backs of their heads.
I know i could explain things I've never seen,
But I'd have to use words that no one ever says.

A name intrudes whispers and escapes my lips,
Of someone I know, but don’t know that I know.
I was planning for things happening yesterday,
With a mind that cannot even perceive tomorrow.

My clothes are there, folded in layers of my truth.
My methods are organized by my own confusion.
The knot that lives in between my heart and my throat
With inhales it tightens but it never really loosens.

To find what is real, i have now learned to search
In The silence that lives underneath my illusions.
Attempts to reshape some clarity from what
I’m sure are just faulty misleading delusions.

A word exists stuck on the tip of my tongue.
My name is not something I'll ever write down.
I’m remembered only by unknown forgetful tongues
Who’ve not ever spoken my name or your name aloud.

I once took a zoomed in picture of my eye.
It resembled that of amphibians or snakes.
I Drew myself as a person, but whole again,
But the person just instantly burst into flames.

I painted a picture of what you'd look like in heaven.
But the next day I noticed it was all rearranged.
I still don't know how I can feel so at home.
Inside this dream that feels so morbidly strange.

You may think you don’t deserve to smile
Like you should just put it away for awhile
Thinking like that is not good
Find something that makes you laugh (I think you should)
It’s human to make a mistake
Not everything in life is “a piece of cake”
You have to take the good with the bad
There will be times you get sad
That’s part of getting through the day
You just have to remember: It’s okay

Ice cold
frozen home
psychotic tone
I'm in a coma with Osmosis Jones
I should have known
That if I got to blown
I'd be stuck here all alone

Lesson learned now it burns blue
Like a dry ice brain freeze mentally abused
Split paths loyalty or love so much to lose
Better choose young blood before the devil comes to you

Click clack. Click clack. Click clack.
a reminder of the past
The golden apple god forbid me to grasp
Temptation took its toll and consumed me. . .
And cast the Devil's curse ~ he had me at last
My soul changed
Hell's chorus sang
His reaper came
And unleashed his chain
I strip you of all you love
Walk the earth alone in the dirt and the mud . . .

I put the blood in the jug
Now solitude is the only friend that has my back
It creeps on me as I lay ~ a ghost in a box
Tic Toc. Tic Toc. Tic Toc.

I hear laughter as I lay purple and blue
My eyes see red
Swollen half dead
Stabbed in my bed
By the spear of destiny . . .
​
Two maidens rise
The sun and the moon
They see right through my disguise
The black thorns embedded in my heart by my own devices
One too many vices
Forsaken by reality
The black thorns consumed me
Set me me free
I pleaded
Put an end to this monstrosity by ending me...
I should have known they would pity me
Instead they cleansed the beast in me

The sun shined her rays and warmed my home
I cannot bring them back, but your loved ones gave me light so you'd never feel alone
The moon gave me a voice to battle my insanity
I cannot take your pain, but speak and your words will grant you serenity.
I thanked the sun
And fell in love with the moon
But she lived in the sky and left too soon

So now I speak to her with poetry
Standing here hoping she'll notice me
But till then I'll keep using this gift
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
I will turn pain into strength

🖤

Like a child running to his mother in tears,
seeking warmth in her arms,
only to be silenced with a slap.

That is the ache of being let down,
right where you thought safety lived.

⛓️‍💥