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"hier encore, j'avais vingt ans"
standing still in your kitchen with red walls
watching you make coffee in that small moka ***
while whispering the songs we danced to the night before
beneath that turkish lamp your mom bought a long time ago
and your lips met mine as charles aznavour sang along
tasting of the red wine we drank all night long

"mais j'ai perdu mon temps"
while waiting for something more
holding onto that empty mug in my hands
now cold as the kitchen floor we once danced
that one night in october many years ago
yet our silhouttes are still spinning around
as you hold someone else in your arms now

à présent, j'ai vingt-deux ans
standing far away from your kitchen with red walls
watching you make coffee in that same moka ***
while whispering how you never felt this way before
beneath that turkish lamp you lit up a long time ago
you take a sip from your cup as you look into her eyes
those big coffee-brown eyes, just like mine
Ellie Feb 22
I accomplished what I want.
I overcome the voices in my head.
And the one who’s supposed to be proud is the one who holds me back.

One mountain climbed.  
One voice that made a change.
But that courage and voice couldn’t cause someone else pain.

Told that I can’t handle it, but what does she know. I do her job and my own.

To this day I still haven’t spoke, but maybe once I’m eighteen.
Àŧùl Nov 2024
Some day,
We'll meet.
And that day,
You'll tell me,
"Wish we didn't break apart."

Even today, I search for true love,
But it's elusive like the golden swan.
Even today, I look for it under the trees,
I look for it on the roads and in the parks,
"Wish we didn't grow apart."

It was just an instance of rudeness,
They tell me that I should've been mature.
Maturity, is it gained when you lose your identity,
Or when you stop reacting and start responding?
"Wish you hadn't left such scorny remarks."

I have braved hellish fires,
In you, I sought some balm.
You could've applied it soothingly,
But you left remarks so disparagingly,
"Wish I still could've been mature, and not reacted."

Someday, we might meet again,
You'll finally mature enough...
That day, you’ll understand my pain,
Yes, I hope you'll not be so rough,
"Wish that day comes soon enough."

Babe, I felt warm things for you,
But your remarks—me they burned.
Babe, I had plans for the future,
But you, typical Y2K generation,
"Wish future existed for you too."

The future can be changed,
It can be accurately predicted.
Everyone was happy—everyone but you,
Babe, you should've told your mom beforehand,
"I don't want to waste my youth on the middle-aged man."

This is the futility of my feelings,
They don't matter, because I'm a man.
All my successes, they are insignificant,
They are engulfed in the quality of being effervescent,
"For there are many more younger timely successful men."

Nobody reads any of my novels,
I may have went through a lot.
But I'm turning 34 in 36 days,
I've missed the bus, I'm late.
"And nothing else matters."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
My HP Poem #2028
©Atul Kaushal
Dario Tinajero Sep 2024
Feigning happiness
Knowing you can be cast-off
By so called close friends
Some things you cling to, forcefully, because there’s nowhere else to go.
LONE STAR Apr 2024
The ocean loses a hundred a fish in a day
Yet it never lacks it's glow
Why should I lack mine
Since I lost one who wasn't worthy of me
unrequited love
George Krokos Oct 2023
Even if it's heads or tails
either side You always win.
Your own system never fails
ev'rything else wears out thin.
____
From 'The Quatrains' - #629, ongoing writings since the early '90's.
Àŧùl Apr 2021
I wanna reach somewhere else,
For I do not belong here,
Listen to the silence of my panic.

I scream at the top of my voice,
Still, no one listens there,
Maybe I'm an alien here by choice.

I need a panacea for my ills,
A cure for my SADness,
Maybe then I won't get chills.

******-Affective Disorder,
Its SADness destroys me,
Maybe I lack love in my life.

I really need a loving wife,
Who values me enough,
Maybe such a Naari is imaginary.

I am very hopeless in life,
SAD, but not suicidal,
Maybe I have a bigger destiny.

I carry the burden of my past,
Still, I need some love,
Maybe happiness seeks me too.

I am unaware of a true lover,
Who can love me more,
Maybe she exists only in my desires.

I hear that everybody deserves joy,
But I don't know why, but
Maybe my Karma is a bad accountant.
My HP Poem #1923
©Atul Kaushal

Naari is a Hindi synonym for woman.
loggi Dec 2020
There is a bitter taste
Pressed to my mouth
As I sip my tea.

There’s a thought that’s lives
I wish to drown out
But can I ever cede.

All this has been steeping
And it’s now too strong.
I’ll have to deal with it.
Kama Nov 2020
you’ll find
someone
who’s ****
****
and who’s
hair doesn’t
get
in the
way
maybe
she’ll play
drums as well
or
maybe not

someone
who won’t
have
an ugly
laugh
bigger ****
nicer
eyes
lips
maybe she
will
be easier to
talk to
better
to
kiss
provide company
to your cigarette
maybe she’ll
understand
you
the way I
do
but if
she won’t
then at least
she’ll have a
nicer
****
Please close your eyes when you look at me
Pretend for one moment that I am someone else
i want to be someone else
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