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Nigdaw Jan 2020
******* on a can of beer
I'm sure the answer's in here somewhere
diversion of my mind map
fools illusion, mirage'd secret
a child again
stupidly laughing
at the stupidest of things

I could conquer the universe
just as long as this bubble
remains unburst

my body starts to question though
just how far I'm prepared
to go
beyond the veil
beyond the pale
the edge of insanity
a dance with the devil

crash comes through
outer atmosphere
splashdown
of this spaceship
in a sea of pain and fear
what did I do last night
dare I answer that texted phone
Holly Jan 2020
I lie awake at night
and list off all the ways I avoid feeling the ache in my chest.
All the little things I do
that become desperate behaviours
of my personality trying to fix itself.

Like collecting books and arranging them
in order across the shelf,
because the fantasy
of a world so different from mine
feels like a void I can fill my room with.

Like placing my physical sentimentalities
in a box at the bottom of my drawers,
so it feels like I have
a private place
to bury myself in and know
there is something good
still alive
somewhere.

Like sleeping with the curtains wide open,
because I like to
fall in love with the dark
from a safe distance,
and still imagine suffocating myself in it
at the same time.

I tell myself that
If I fill all the spaces
with enough distractions,
I can forget why I was sad in the first place.
I can convince myself
having the rest of the bottle of *****
will make me feel more alive
than I do sober.
I can convince myself
kissing a boy I don’t know
will make me feel like
I am worth being loved.
I can convince myself
my childhood no longer screams
in my ears
that my existence is nothing more
than a burden.

Until I’m lying in bed
listing off all the ways I avoid feeling the ache in my chest,
and I realise it’s not an ache
but a hole
that’s been bleeding forever.
And there’s not a patch
big enough to make it stop.
Mike Markes Jan 2020
yes, our music drowns on the tenement rooftop
as the cicadas droned hymns dedicated to libido
from trees at piercing decibels, shedding nymph exuviae,
mourning warmth and dirt womb
flaunting stained glass wings—
i wonder, do they ever fly?

no, she says, at least not well.
she used to put them on her shoulder in summer
along streambeds before knotting them to balloons.
string-to-flesh, she’d make them fly.
like ground to sky, like up from down, was inevitable,

as fated as abandoned skin left on bark,
a skeletal leaf, rotting for dear death or death after,
moon-drunk, drunk-drunk, in elongated breaths,
we listen to their endless cries, now
the morning’s cold or maybe early afternoon.
Łëïçkî Jan 2020
Mosquito bites and warm summer nights.
Cold beers and unfounded drunken fears.
Sinning in the garage,
Seeing double like a mirage
Driving slow and enjoying the afterglow.
Sweet *** and the afterglow.
My sweet romantic teenage nights
Łëïçkî Jan 2020
Kick back.
Steal a beer from your parents fridge.
Pass it around slowly.
Like it's the bread and wine of the last supper.
**** hops and bubbles rise in my throat.
Eyes smarting around the table,
Blinking away the soft burn gathering in the corners of our eyes.
My first taste of freedom fades to fuzzy shapes and images I can't decipher.
Just a little more to take off the edge.
first drink
Łëïçkî Jan 2020
Blanket nights and water bottles filled with stolen whiskey from my parents cabinets.
Laying swamped on the docks,
Swaying to my high.
Praying bright lights don't catch me,
Asking the boy next to me for one more kiss.
I grate like sand between your teeth.
I'll drag you into this black water.
summer nights
Bhill Jan 2020
Feel Life - Haiku

seek the vibrations
let them penetrate your mind
feel the drunkenness

Brian Hill - 2020 # 19
Can you feel it?
Gabriella Jan 2020
it began like any cliché film,
a girl with degenerating neurons,
a boy trying to stay a float in his sorrows.

two worlds drunkenly collide.
emotions, memories, thoughts spill over.
you remember?

no. your sickness robbed you of these pure moments.
it took what may have been the beginning of what you've been searching for.

a kiss. a touch. pleasurable asphyxiation.
blurred night of raw feelings.
is this what remains?

an empty love.

the sickness stole it.

a night forgotten but emotions remembered.
leechyna Jan 2020
Another shot comes
Another world starts to create itself
The barmaid I saw being ugly
Now she is queen of beauty
I think this is the drink they drunk in Cana of Galilee
Tomorrow  looks so far but,
I have john walker to walk me home
Empire Jan 2020
I lost myself the other night
I didn’t think it would happen...
I didn’t think I’d have to choose so soon
But I had the chance
Finally an opportunity
And I gave in
Because I wanted it.
My mind was made up years ago
I’d decided to finish the bottle
Long before I started it
So I forced it down
More and more...
Feeling ill
Giddy
Relaxed
Finally something nice...
And when I’d already gone a bit too far
I went a little further
The gently swaying hotel room
Began to spin violently
And honestly....
I can’t remember much of the rest
I blacked out
I knew I would
I’d decided long ago.

And though my stomach protested
I just kept going...
You begged me to eat
Insisted I slow down
Drink some water
I listened a little
But I was determined.
You had to hide the rest
Because you knew I’d try and drink it.
My first time truly free
And I was out of control
I’ve wanted it for so long....
And to my dismay
It was everything I’d hoped for
Though satisfying for a short time, it’s only left me craving more....
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