we are sitting on the riverside
we smoke cigarettes
the smell still reminds me of you
your smile brings back so many memories
your septum piercing is kinda oblique
i want to touch it while we kissing
that’s not much to ask
you probably taste like red wine and marlboro
i wish we would did this earlier
the background music has changed
some current joys playing on your phone
remember darling, we danced to that song
but if you don’t remember anything
i can tell you what we did
while we were drunk

You poured your words
into my whiskey glass.
Over and over
again.
I drank every drop
In good faith.
Hopelessly drunk
on a dream of love.

Now you fill my glass
and pour it down the drain
as I reach for you.

This hangover
is gonna be my worst.

The air is toxic,
These brown paper bag clouds
Clogging up our lungs
We wash our ash covered feet
But it’s seeped into the bloodstream
Trickling down into a much larger lake.

So we take the plunge
Swimming in the lake of serotonin
We dive down deep and admire the fish,
Such bright coloured fish relaxing at such depths.
Everything is better down where it’s wetter,
But with lungs not gills
We all have to come up for air.

We resurface and time has moved on
The air is getting thick now
And buildings have crumbled.
Entire generations of degraded graduates
Emerging from the thick mud of the banks of the lake serotonin.

I feel slow
My head is spinning
Faster...
Limbs heavy and awkward
I feel good
Finally

It’s not enough
You need to keep drinking
You can stop when it’s all gone
Stop when you can’t see straight
Keep ******* drinking
You worthless *****
Don’t listen to your body
Just drink
You’re not drunk enough

**** this
Alone
Again.
Not drunk enough
Til the room spins.
I’m tired
I’m lonely
If you’re nice maybe I’ll just kiss you again...
****

here is what
we are not
going to do

we are not going to
play taylor swift’s
latest album a
half dozen times

and we are not going to
get drunk on ****** sweet red
wine from a three liter bag
mixed with lime gin

and what we are most
certainly not doing today

is crying
and crying
and crying
and crying

mostly over what
didn’t happen
and what won’t happen
and what can’t happen

not
doing
that
today

and we are not
slipping darkly
down into the space
between the bathroom floor
and reality where
the bath mat lives and
i start to get afraid of myself

we are not falling
into the trap
of blood on skin
like drops of that bad
red wine dried and
left to oxidize

so here’s to what we’re
not going to do today

but then what
are we going
to do today?