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alex 4d
A musician strums a sorrowful song
chords ringing loud enough
for his little girl,
who sleeps in the earths embrace,
six feet deep.

A woman files paperwork,
answers relentless emails,
and even stacks her grief in neat piles,
but it’s only her distraction
from nine to five…

A girl avoids mirrors
because it hurts to see
how she traced pain
along forearms and thighs
‘damaged’ ‘ugly’ ‘ruined’, she thinks,

A mother screams
about clothes on the floor
and unwashed dishes
because the silence of her broken home
scares her more than feigned anger.

A writer spends endless nights
scrawling lovesick thoughts,
and morose notes
on scrappy, tear stained paper
no one will ever see.

A teenage boy, never at home
swallows pills like promises
whilst he loses himself
in the haze
of a swirling smoke room

An old man looks out the window
of his care home
and names clouds after the ones he loved
while he waits for someone
who will never come.

If you look closely-
Everyone is in pain.
And that’s the truth,
the real, visceral truth,
but we carry on.
Driven by red
riding hood,
wheels of eternity run
hot and cold
along the tracks
in her arm.

Around the bend
there are jigsaw
pieces of a puzzle,
scattered as destinations
once towns and villages,
now fodder for
the migrant beginner.

According to fable,
there's a wolf at the door,
home is no longer
a worthwhile rendezvous,
but a trap of origin.

Misery is a train ride,
a stray fantasy,
lingering in the wilderness
of her fractured mind.

She sells her gold bracelets,
for she needs
the dark coal,
she seeks
its deep freeze.

She can then
be many things
along the journey,
just never
a connection,
never a permanent signal.
He wants my skin,
He wants the flame,
He draws me in —
I feel the shame.

He needs my heat,
My full surrender,
He calls it sweet —
I can’t feel it.

He needs my soul,
My heart, my crying,
He wants it all —
But I am dying.

The mirror’s dim,
My chest is hollow.
He beckons me —
And I still follow.

He wants my breath,
My broken frame —
I want the sniff,
He want's my pain.
When you die, no one will cry,
No mourners watching the casket lie.
Just an old priest in a faded gown
Will mumble prayers and lay you down.

You pictured storms, a grieving crowd,
Rainfall weeping from every cloud.
But the sun shone bright, uncaring and high —
Not a single soul stopped to sigh.

Your mother won’t be there that day,
Not from grief, not lost in dismay.
She'll hear the news like a distant bell,
And whisper, “Now I can live as well.”

The world won’t pause, won’t skip a beat,
No mass despair, no empty street.
Nothing will shift, no grand goodbye —
Even your dorm won’t stay vacant long after you die.

New people will take your place,
With no idea who filled the space.
They’ll sleep in your bed, unknowing, unfazed,
Where your wrists once bled in a quiet daze.

Their children will run through the greasy hall,
Where you once drank, back against the wall.
They’ll eat from spoons still stained with smoke,
Not knowing the weight of the life you broke.

You’ll die on the way to the ER lights,
Drained of blood from long, quiet fights.
And in the file they’ll calmly note:
"Self-inflicted. No suicide note."
MetaVerse Jun 4

Individual
Drops of rain syringe the tips
Of long pine needles.

In a dusty magic orchard, my soul lost its worth.
Where a garden of poison fruit called from the Earth.
There, a tree stood, it was beautiful and dark.
But when the glare from the moon revealed me to its bark,

Its branches took hold. I knew I was ensnared.
Ripped out my intentions, as dust filled the air.
Its trunk overtook me, no matter my strain.
I was trapped in a euphoria, divine and insane…

Beyond the veil of roses, we know of the thorns.
That omnipresent sting of need, that slowly adorns.
All beauty seen, only masked an ugly face.
In a statuette state, watched my world shift its shape.

Each petal a facade, each leaf was a lie.
This enchanted tree, has now silenced my cry.
My soul, now ensnared to its beautiful spell,
My search in desperation, formed a path straight to hell.

Deep In this garden, I remain without vision.
Controlled at its will, my roots bound in addiction.
Only one tale unfolds for my soul. I’m too deep,
As my cries become screams, I’m as silent as sleep

Adore not this garden. oh sad, starving heart.
For this magical garden will tear you apart.
Never eat from her harvest. Never mask your own dread.
Run far from this soil feeding my life to the dead.
Heavy Hearted May 17
For 2 years, we've met, until now, I stop.
Arranging impassion's unpleasentationships
in this 10th year, doubtlessness's equipped
to unveil all of his un-friendship.

I'll leave here.                        
  
I leave behind.              
      
  I'll leave today-    

         & wont return.

When you go so far and factiously thank-
  what you know to seek forgiveness for
Your once full words, empty and blank
while guises of gratitude implore.

All the cop outs and shifting blame
To grow up and then blow away again
Us tortured youths, from diamond minds
Extrapolate all that we may find
Worthy, of exchanging for our flesh's  time-
Insidiousness perpetuates the implicit crime.

All that's perceived against one's will
Somethin within what I've now absorbed,
Like Freckles in the minds eye's open windowsill -
Every smile, each kiss, your touches abhorred.

As if I could make a deal with God,
and get him to change our places-
I'd be running up that road. Running.                                          
   Running.   ­                   
Running.                                        
Running-        ­            

With no problems.
To Dr. Ariel Graff,
Someone I once thought of as a friend, as brief and nieve as that was, I still wish he were. Written the second last time I was in his house, when I finally realized.
X May 19
I am filled with emotions I cannot bare

Mary is there to make sure I ate
She helps me relax and rids me of self-hate

To help me calm down everyday, she sings me her song
A wonderful tune I hear through the bubbling of my ****
I feel her warmth on my chest
She truly does help me rest

Mary is like no other
Her voice and touch cannot compare
Though she says I’m no bother,
I fear I depend too much on her care

Mary is always willing to provide
Even when I take more from her than I should,
She always gives me her warmth and a place to reside

Since I can remember,
Mary has been by my side
No matter the extent to which I’ve been upset,
She’s always been a helping hand in making me forget

I can no longer hide within her convincing high
I’m starting to think we won’t always see eye to eye
Mary is my best friend
I’d hate to say goodbye

But I’ll always wonder if this relationship should end and finally die
This is my first official poem. I would love to hear any thoughts and, of course, criticisms as I am looking to improve. Thank you!
Schuyler May 17
when did i lose my wings of girlhood
my cherub face grown sharp the visage of my mother
when did i lose my halo of girlhood
soft botticelli blonde of youth grown dark
when did i lose my robe of girlhood
the hair growing from me in itchy patches resembling man
is that when you stopped loving me?
no longer the babe, the little child of sun
jumping into daddy’s lap
does my reflection scare you?
the face of the monster, the *****
the wicked woman who tainted your heart
dark changeling taken form of nightmare
who haunts you, seeping guilt
the confines of marriage you broke
and left me to rot, a house of horrors and nicotine
of cat **** and suicide letters
a big green basket, plastic, decorative holes in the side
the pill bottles i count: 1, 2, 3, 50!
proud i can count that high
and mother says, “take this one”
like candy on my small tongue
my icarus moment of floating, feeling bumps on popcorn ceiling
falling back
down
down
down
until i am 17, looking in the mirror
my prozac a taunting smile, knowing my throat will close from a fear i can’t remember
the choking struggle of getting better
mothers eyes stare back at me, her ghost a reflection of my heartache
and i realize i was never floating
and we both share the guilt
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