Within an instant,
my life could've been gone.
I still remember the pain I felt,
and the noise of the collision.

I didn't even have time to scream.
It happened so fast.
I had just enough time to remember the boys to my left and right,
then my head made contact with the dashboard.

I felt pain,
but I didn't care.
Those around me were shaken up.
One was angry while the other screamed.

We were okay.
Beaten up,
but okay.
It just seemed like a painfully bad dream.

"I'm so sorry.. I'm so sorry"
Those were his words.
The guy who almost killed us.
I didn't understand why he did what he did.

His passenger was ******.
She could've been dead too.
She cried and I cried at the sight of her.
I couldn't be angry right now.

The ambulances said they were surprised to see me alive.
They checked me over several times,
because I shouldn't of been okay...
but they said "God must have been with you".

Then they told us why the man did what he did.
He was so intoxicated,
he chose alcohol over our lives,
and over his own life.

I forgive him,
even though I can't get in a vehicle without panicking now.
He made a mistake,
but I am alive.

But for all those who still think a drink is worth risking your life,
please hear me out.
Your life can be altered in an instant.
Whether you feel invincible or think you're use to it.

You can end up in jail,
end up being responsible for someone's death,
or end up dead yourself.
A night of fun isn't worth your life or anyone else's.

She drives along faded highway, not seeing, thinking,
following twin red guide-lights to 21 days from now,
10 months from now because it's so easy to get lost
in tunnel-vision future when a path reaches out ahead--

--and we can think we know where to go, seeing our dreams,
not thinking with our lives that feel so cold and blank on Sunday
nights when the looming no rest-9-5-help me-bills to pay doom rolls up behind, whispering in a voice born from anxiety...malevolence in her ear...

and yet

She drives along a back-lit highway, seeing, and believing, that the sun
rises on the other side of tomorrow.

When i'm driving
And i see a nice-looking girl
I become conflicted
No wonder accident rates are so high!
I better pay attention to the road and not her gorgeous existence next time

Tell me all of your memories as we drive through them.
This town on the river is as vast as an ocean, remember it all.
Basking in the flood of your emotions makes me drift closer to you on a cellular level.
Drift until merge.
Until our veins warm with the blood of desire
Until we're ubiquitous within each other.
Mind and body.
As long I can find you I always know where I am.

Palms sweating on the steering wheel
I try to chat
Hold on tightly
I look ahead
Red lorry, yellow lorry
My breath catches in my throat as we approach the bridge
Parallel lines pass me by
Don't look
I know how high up I am
If I wanted, I could drive off this bridge...
With one...
Lines
Flick...
Lines
Of my wrist.
My stomach rises and drops too fast
I feel like I'm falling
Releasing dread and panic
Adrenaline and tears
She gets angry but tries to calm me down
Down from the bridge
Get down
Fall off
Fall off the Earth
Be ****** out
No gravity
Oh God, no gravity
I try to breathe
I breathe
I breathe
Hold on tightly
We're off the bridge
I try to chat
Palms sweating on the steering wheel

do you feel that when we touch?
the feeling like we're two cars on the freeway,
about to collide head-on,
going 100 miles an hour,
and we don't have our headlights on,
and we don't see the impending mess we're about to beautifully configure.
but,
we keep driving.
i feel it when you look at me,
with my favourite pair of eyes.
i feel this rush of naive mystery,
i know it's going to hurt like hell when we collide,
but i keep driving.
i do not slow.
i do not falter.
i just wait for our impact,
and for all our pieces to go flying.

a.m.

Inadequate.

The skinny jeans
I did not wear,
The only tshirt
I cared enough to have,
A fitted cap
That fit too tight -
I wanted to be someone
That you'd like.

Hopeless Romantic

I told my parents I'd be right back
But I drove off
For an hour and a half.
I took and chance
And went for the surprise.
There you were,
Coming out of class
With no make up on.

The Compact Disc

You shied away
And we're embarrassed
(I don't know why)
And all of the sudden
It started to rain.
You went into my car
And I gave you
A CD.

Regret

I asked you
If I could kiss you.
Was it a mistake?
I had been dying
For that moment
But when it finally came
There was no magic
And I was still scared.

My Return

How different
Would it have been
If I had held you in the rain,
Didn't ask
But helped myself
To a kiss you didn't expect,
Share the moment
We were supposed to have.

Swear I was born
Right in the Doorway.

Save a life, of course
Pick you up, pouring rain
But get your beer-coated breath out of my face




Stop shouting, we'll buy your smokes
Putting your hands on her arm
Dragging your fingers to trace
My hands shove you back
Sit down in the back seat
You push me away

She's driving
For God's sake she's driving
   Stop whispering in her ear
     She's yelling
   Stop whispering in her ear
     She's whimpering
   Stop whispering in her ear
     She's sobbing

Get your lips off her
Sit down in the back seat
We are on the highway
We cannot stop
We are on the highway
Sit down in the back seat
Don't park the car
**You can't park th-

I drove down the 605 and lost track of time.
"I'm just one drug run away from death", I thought to myself
as I listened to country blues and wondered how I'll feel
when I'm ten years older.
I thought I wanted kids but maybe I was wrong
I'm not sure if I'm tired of being tired
or bored of being bored
or which would be worse.
The heater blasts hot air against my face
It's too hot so I turn it on cold
It's too cold.
It never feels right.