I might be just a distraction
Like flowers during hard times
Giving a funny quip to obtain reaction
Then falling back into line.
It's a bit obnoxious, leaving me a lack of real
I can only imagine how everyone else feels.
The goofy kid who opens his lid
just to laugh at himself and what everyone else did.
That's how I play it in my mind
That's how it plays in theirs too.

A one note joke spoke is funny
Until it's being told the hundredth time
It was quirky and a little punny
But best to leave a dying joke to die
Don't laugh, it encourages attention,
Walk past, leaving me no mention.
It's humorless and rumor is
I do it for self-defense and deflection,
The room is heavy and I hate the tension.

I might just be a distraction
Like an ice cream cone,
A sometimes treat worth a smile
But you don't miss it when it's gone.

The thoughts I jot are for my own being,
The ones I show are for you to know
You are not alone.
My brain feels like it's being pulled, in two.
The pain is dull but growing, emotionless.
My hair's a mess as always shown.
I'm not together, it's for the better,
Forward the letters, leave the keys.
I wish I was holding worth for someone to see.
The looking glass shows my real imagery.

If this is a standoff in my own,
Each side isn't bluffing
As the tumbleweeds go drifting by
We both have guns to be blown.
We say ten steps but only take five
Lying to ourselves to make the other die.
Then the dust settles to show nothing
Just a Russian roulette suicide
But the barrel was empty
Too much of a coward to really try.

Haven't you taken enough?
It will never be enough

This is a story, they say I'm a character.
Can you tell me the ending, I'm asking
Because I don't know where I'm going,
Are we just simply showing an adventure?
One man's struggle left unmentioned,
Always seen blurry due to the world's hurry.

Is this it? Existing in the subtitles,
I thought I was surviving to perform accolades.
Instead, I feel mostly in the way
While they perform accolades.
I don't want to pass away but,
Why did you keep me here?
Just for everyone to pass my way?
I was built for greatness, I know it.
I feel it like you feel the wind blowing.
If I'm a character, show me what path to take!
No? It's three a.m. I lay awake,
Hoping for anything to say.

This is a story, anyone have an ear for lending?
I know the truth but, I won't ruin the ending.

I'm not a nobody or no one
But I'm not much a someone either.
You'd remember me at a mention
Yet forget me just as quick.
Saying my full name, rolling off your tongue,
Like an old sticker, still I don't stick.
When I'm needed, I'm convenient.
When I'm not, I simply fade.
It's ok, it's probably for the best that way.

I'm not a nobody like Emily
But I feel we would see eye to eye
She would be a nobody and I would be an I
If the public were all frogs,
Maybe I would be a fly?
We wouldn't be a pair, that's fair
But quiet, banish us? They still might.

I'm not much of a someone like you.
Not to say I wish I was.
I'd be too nervous to tell the truth
Trying to do the things a someone does.
While everyone knew how to be,
I left to leave, simply being a me.

Four lanes of traffic,
busy all day.
Everyone is running late,
no one is set to move.
Staring out the window,
breath fogging up the glass.
If you get lost in thought,
you'll never know the time that's passed.
Everyone has been stopped for a week
While a stray cat is crossing the street.

People leave their cars running hot
Needing food and supplies
Walking to a farmer's market lot.
We all have places to be,
We all have things we want to see.
Yet no one is getting angry.
Three hundred people watching
As a stray cat is crossing the street.

Nobody tries to move him,
We all just watch and gaze
It's so simple, we all just look amazed
Forget our lives and jobs for days
In the future, we all chose not to speak
About watching a stray cat crossing the street

It's barely noon and I've felt myself
Falling apart more than ten times
I'm floundering but no one is casting lines.
I'm sorry I'm not strong like you,
I haven't built a shell without subtle tells.
I've thought about numbing out
But all this will rush back,
Fake smile until I can't,
Until I can't.

"Hey Ryan, how are you?"
I'm fine.

Sally, dear, I'm glad you're here.
Do you remember Christmas town?
How silly, of course you do!
That magical tree I fell through,
Well Sally, last night I sat on Spiral Hill
As the wind sang beautiful chills,
Curiosity filled me right to my core,
I've often questioned, what do you suppose
Is behind all those other wonderous doors?

"Now wait, but Ja-"
"Please, Sally, we should have none of that
Imagine the lands, the towns, the sounds
And frankly, I know where I belong,
But in this town, I am still just a little bit bored."

I heard of a place where everyone would chase
Little men wearing green,
As strange as it seems, for reasons untold,
Each little man held a *** of gold.
Lock, Shock, and Barrel, while planning my peril,
Found a giant bunny they accidently stole
And although I offered no applause,
For the Hopper was no Sandy Claws,
I bet that basket of eggs plays a devious role.

And Sally there was one more...
In that circle of trees, one with a heart on the door,
With you, that one, I want to explore.
I've heard no rumors of it's contents
But we should see, together, what it has in store.

They say that the best heroes
Always hit an early grave,
The ones fighting for freedom
Spend their lives being enslaved.
Only the darkest tragedies
Open eyes to real change.
Pay attention to the little things
Like a soft smile on a face
Or the sound of crashing from the waves.
The best advice I ever heard,
Live life like it ends today.

They say that the best heroes
Fought for someone else to feel brave,
The ones fighting for freedom
Removed everyone else's cage.
Only the darkest tragedies
Make everyone see we are all the same.
Pay attention to the little things
Like the warmth from being embraced
Or the sound of calming rain.
The best advice I ever heard,
Change is never too late.

The best advice I ever heard,
This life is what you make.

While I sleep, I see
Things as bright as can be
Where flaws and holes have grown,
I'm taken whole, existing.
I breath air tasting of potential
Instead of the stencil I've come to fit.
The people there support my world
Softly saying not to quit.

While I sleep,
I swear I can smell success,
Sweet like honeysuckle, smooth like cocoa
It's pulled through my airways, so close.
Still nightmares creep that I'll never know.
In the instance of dreamless insecurity
I am left breathless.

While I sleep, in the stillness I lay,
Wishing this was reality.

I smile when someone reads my work,
I drown in happiness with a "like"
A clever comment makes me smirk,
But what really fills me inside,
Is when someone sees my face
The one I hide behind my words
And simply relates.