Maybe if I tell myself
I don't need you
Enough times
You will disappear
From my trapped mind

And that will be my down

                                                 fall

Have I damaged
this plump, preening pride of yours?
I am not sorry.

My downfall.
Slow,
Excruciating,
Waited by all,
Seen by all.

Plotted by few,
wanted by many.
That is my demise,
my destiny.

Pain, helps me;
and yet hurts me.
It brings me away
by keeping me there.

A blade,
A word,
A gun,
Absurd.

All are my downfall,
Pain, I must decide for her.
Be she the curse,
or be she the cure.

Tonight I dance,
You called once,
I took that chance,
Waiting for a glance.

Tonight we walked,
You never talked,
Since then i thought
"I waited and rot".

Tonight I listen,
You had suspicions,
And gave me conditions,
In the end you left me

Because of traditions

We were having a good time
Or at least I was.
Then she said she lost her confidence
Not just one area
She said in every field
Even the fields she used to excel
And she thinks I am responsible
Some way or other I made her lose her confidence
Self-belief and self-worth.
I demean her all the time.
And it was there from a long time
She even had to consult her sister.
But she dare not talk with me
Am I that fearsome?
Did I not make her feel comfortable?
Everyone else could see it clearly happening in her
Except I who happens to her boyfriend
Unfortunately for her.
Do I need to change something?
Or is it something that can’t be fixed?
‘Cause it is just the way I am.
But I won’t be the reason of her downfall.
If it does not work, I will probably leave her for good.
I want her to flourish and live her dreams.
I can’t be selfish with her.

Swirling downwards, hurts to think.
I want this to stop, I'm on the brink.
Questioning why life has come to this.
It is what is, reality's bittersweet kiss.

I could write a million songs

About the color of your eyes,

I could write a million poems

About the softness of your hands,

I could sing forever about your beauty,

And it will never be enough.

I could just look at your face

And know the world is going to be all right.

I could touch your arm

And calm your heart down to a beat,

I could laugh for years upon end,

Just in hopes of seeing your smile.

For every tear I shed on a lonely night,

I pray you lay there next to me.

If love is what I have

You will never have as much for me.

But if I should die

And your world would fall apart,

I would force God to return my life,

Just to love you one more day.

But as I sit here,

With you not in sight

I wonder can I live

Without you in my life.

T.B. Wayne