I’m afraid to sleep because you are what haunts me.
I have this bad habit of eating my own words.
Am I breaking down; am I even breathing?
Is my heart still beating?
Oh, if you’re alive then you’re a lucky one.
If you continue breathing without heaving
You might just make it out alive.
But you caused this, didn’t you?
You wrecked me and took my home.
But I’m still breathing in spite of you.
I’m not a lucky one, for I’ve lost it all.
A forgettable face, pale with life; graceless.
Most of us are bitter, but at least we’re still here...
At least we can feel anything at all.


I’ve spent so long picking my pieces up off the ground
That I can no longer stand.
My back is worn and splintered; my hands,
They’re cut to the bone.
The ground I stand on is still covered and I’m
Still missing pieces.
All of my parts falling, one after the other, with
Barely a moment to spare
Between picking one up and losing another.
Just picking my missing pieces up off the ground.
lmt

lets play hide and seek*, said my indentety, *I will hide, you seek

I dwell between the seven realms of reality

For I am,

But am not,

I have no name

Nor a soul

I just am

But I am not

Am I real or is this just a fantasy?

I dwell between the seven realms of reality

But I doubt my own

What am I?

And am I?

We are lost love ~
Beneath years of expectation and doubt ~
Struggling against the rubble with the hope to stand strong again  ~
Days drift into night and I am weary from collecting moments without you ~
Hold tight onto my hand ~
We will lift these rocks and allow the sun to penetrate the darkness ~
We will see each other's eyes for the first time again ~
We will let go of old habits ~
And start our path anew ~
We are lost love ~
But together we'll find our way ~

Copyright © Tia Jane Fajardo

Depression visits often

He’s the kind of guy
Who doesn’t wipe his
Shoes before entering
And leaves traces of
Himself through out
The house

He keeps to himself
But you can always
Find him washing down
His doubts with cheap wine
Or writing a love poem
That never gets delivered

When it’s time for him
To leave, he usually
Prolongs his goodbyes, but
When all is said and done
He quietly sneaks out
Without me noticing

Even though he’s gone
I leave a key under the door mat
Because I know he will
Be back soon.

Are you afraid?
Are you ashamed?
Are you with doubts?
Are you hiding something?
Are you keeping something?
Are you sure of what you doing?
Are you confused?
Are you insecure?
Are you giving up?

Tell me, what's the matter ?

Sitting here thinking alone,
Peace and quiet have all gone home
the 'What if's have come to stay.

What if I break down?
What if I can’t be strong anymore?
What if I can’t find my perfect life?
What if I can’t trust again?
What if I can’t show the perfect person the real me
What if everyone only looks skin deep?
What if no one helps me with my habit?
What if everything goes wrong?
My thoughts don’t scare them so they’re here to stay until another day and another unsuspecting victim comes their way.

Her stomach dropped with the thought of leaving.
Her mind went blank. In search of a solution.
She has no idea why she does the things she does.
The overthinking, the need & want for reassurance.
It bottles up within her. Waiting to consume her.
To make him understand, she's different.
She's a challenge that's mistakenly simple to understand. Yet.. so complex.
Young. In love with her idea of love.
She knows what she wants but in this world, it doesn't exist.
You take what comes close & accept that nothing is perfect.