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They say,
"childhood is  kingdom where nobody dies"

mine wasn't.

I was forced to grow up too fast
a 5 year old in a 30 year old's body
who couldn't take a joke
who was too sensitive
who was a scaredy cat

but they didn't know
the horrors i saw
the the terror i felt
the trauma i live

they will never know
the blood shed
the tears cried
the screams of pain

my childhood was not a dream
it was a nightmare
This is very personal, and I have been wanting to say this for years, and i am glad to get this out
Lemonade Jun 2020
My friend puking out her Christmas dinner like a little girl trying to scrub off that uncle’s touch who tells her she is his favorite kid.
For her dad fat shames her every day.


My friend’s parents sending her to therapy because they don’t get how she can like a boy as well as a girl. Or rather don’t try to, because calling it phase is so much easier than explaining to the neighbors how that is who their daughter is. They are oblivious to what it is like to live in a home where you are treated like a victim of your existence.


My friend needs help, a little attention and someone to talk to.
His family is ashamed, how they could have done better for him, how they’re responsible for the things inside his head and I still don’t know what depression does to him, his family doesn’t like to talk about it.
They’d rather consider him possessed because anything is better than people knowing that he needs therapy and love and care. “Their son can’t be suffering from mental illness, they’re a happy family.”


My friend tells me she’s turning into her mother, and her mother let me tell you, she’s fabulous and fierce for she has been through things harsher than a lover who never says,'I love you’ but wants you to be their ***** little secret and you love them a little too much to deny. My friend, she had an anxiety attack last night for she can’t go out with her guy friends, neither talk to a classmate for too long because her boyfriend might start ****-shaming her. I disapprove and tell her she is not turning into her mother but when I sit in their living room, and aunty brings me snacks while talking to me about life within these faint green walls of the house and what did I eat for breakfast. I ask her to go out sometimes because there are so many things out there that she’d be experiencing and creating, friendship, weather, languages, people, art, emotions. And smell some sunlight in the lush greens fields. She says she’s not allowed to, like a kid calling its mother, "Ma". Her husband loves his ***. And her helplessly hazardous heart, too drained to take ‘harlot’ for a word from an alcohol-soaked throat.
The same walls that once adored their wedding photographs now question their love.


My friend’s girlfriend telling him she loves him but they can’t be together because she’s doesn’t want to be seen with him in the streets. But she seeks his warmth in the winter and leaves right before spring. He loses a little bit of himself every time she does that. He blames himself for what love does to him.


The woman who wears a heavy heart to the bed, finds it difficult to put herself to sleep, holds her dog for a little too long. Whose husband refuses to try therapy.
For I can't margin in metaphors, the agony within the wives who haven't been touched for years.
And the woman who feels a little less human after every night her husband forces himself on her. Because she's, his wife. His. Possession not prized but objectified.
The wife whose husband refuses to wear a ******, she gulps down pain every morning with the pills.
Families of these women, who were taught to think that is how the society functions and who are unwilling to unlearn.      


My friend’s brother asking her to stop wearing that short skirt around guests. There's a hole in her heart every time she remembers the traces his hands left on that infertile body of the kid that looked just like her. He pretends like it never happened.
Tell me the things I can change to make this piece of writing better.
Remembering those that are keeping it all together whilst being screamed at, humiliated, insulted, offended and hurt.

Those who feel like screaming but holding the meltdown in check.

Those who are frustrated and trapped and killing somebody seemed the best option but just do not have the right state of mind.

Those whom in the ugly face of violence, are still fighting for their right to freedom of choice.

Freedom for a right to live equally because, life has dealt them a hard hand. A right to be who they dream to be.

Those that are being mistaken for their tears as mere weakness.

Those that have lost their spirit to fight but are hoping-still.
Those who are in their lowest now but still faithful and pressing on despite everything.

Those that feel the need to cry but had to smile instead.
Those who live within their means but wish there could have been more or be more because of another brother, sister, relative in need.

Those who put every one elses need ahead of their own.

Lest we forget, you are remembered today.
"Dawn"
I wonder where the prayers went...after years spent sitting in the darkness looking for a change that never came...it never came...and...
Where Is My Diamoonnnd!!!!???
All I Have is coal...
And why....
Why can't I have 3 wishes at least?...
Because change never came...it never came...
Only the Storm remained.
But when being present was a requirement, there transpired a lucid calm...
Mmm...
If only it could be grasped like bed sheets the night the Storm was conceived...
Oh I wish those knees could have been broken!!!...
So they wouldn't have opened to receive...seed...or conceive...
Forgive me..
I pray for a mime to be a fly on the wall of these thoughts!!
I pray the clouds part so the sun can shine and you find rest..
Because....  
Everything's better when you are asleep...
Suffering through your Own nightmares...
What happened to the maternal instinct purposed to protect you, nurture you to a point of functionality?
Is there such thing as functional with you?...
Or
Did you wear out your place of origin to where you're no longer sought for or welcomed?
Was it a joy to desert such a never ending storm?
Is there no remorse?
Not for your abandonment...but for society...
No thought for the trail of derailed strangers who will never forget the name of the tornadic soul who impacted them tragically...?
Tragic....
Your calms last long enough to fall in love with the beauty in between..and it is so beautiful.
But...
Not long enough to prepare for your next season...and...
Why.....
Why won't you learn to warn your lovers?
So they may brace for...
Dawn...
Oh...
But...wait...
Look...
The sun...
The sun is coming...
The heavens still love me...
So...
Since the sun is out,
I love you...
Sweet dreams.
~Say Dat~
This is dedicated to those who have suffered emotional abuse....
A woman sits in the dark, talking to her drunken sleeping abusive lover...
“Husband murdered wife over domestic dispute”

Witnesses say they heard yelling getting clearer
The community is shocked and never expected this terror
A husband was angry over losing his kids to his wife
He drove eight blocks to take her life

He broke into her house and broke many things
She came downstairs and the fat lady sings
He knocks her down to the carpet
At three in the morning the air remains scarlet

He strangles her on their couch
Blood filling up in her mouth
At three in the morning she left this life
Why do we do this to our women?
© Thorne J. McFarlane
Isabel María Nov 2019
You fell under his embrace
a long time ago,
trusted his words
and his fake love.

Shouts came,
hits,
never ending fear
impossible to deal with.

Bruised face,
broken soul.
You should know it's time
to let him go.
'Cause although you wished so,
that isn't love.
I feel that something is missing but anyway t's my first english "poem" (actually it's my first poem ever) so please don't be so ******* me.
I accept constructive criticism!
Yolanda Aug 2019
I pictured me and you & smiled
Your skin brushing up against mine
Felt like a thousand fireworks on a 4th of July night
Waking up next to you, the epitome of heaven...
I could do this forever
I thought

If only I didn’t wake up and you were different ...

I was different ...

Suddenly the thought of forever scares me more than the silence of being alone
Your touch hurts... like a fire set on my skin..
Burning to the depths of my soul
Your words cut me deeper than a double edged sword
Your love has become a thorn in my flesh

If only this was just a dream...

I could do this forever I thought...

Forever seems a really long time.. but that wouldn’t matter as my body is being lowered 6ft underground

I guess I can say in death I finally escaped from you.
Say NO to Domestic Violence. Lets speak out against it. If it happened to you or if it’s happening to you... honey it is not your fault. It’s not okay for anyone to abuse you in way or form. If you find yourself in abusive relationship and you don’t know what to do, speak to a friend, family member, anyone who you think can help you in that moment.

To contact someone you can phone at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

That is a domestic violence hotline ☝️. Men let’s protect our women & women lets do the same for our men.
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