I have no LIFE other than this,
And to lead it here -
By the back of thy hand,
Dispelled me to tear.

Tie me to your hanging tree!
Start the action anew,
Our life cannot be -
Where your sorrows are few.

SHE rose to his towering rule,
The plaything of his life -
Love's rusting tool,
Of husband and wife.

She hath paid her heart's due -
Once struck by Death's love bow,
Her senses laid few,
Far from what she used to know.
Her heart lays upon Death's trail,
Bleeding endless waves -
Forevermore without fail,
Until she meets the graves.

Love she missed in the new day,
Of glorious awe -
Under the showers of May,
Her beating heart still raw.

Unmentioned tensions galore,
In that home just down the road,
The marriage they both bore -
Where blood soon flowed.

Alas, the man's mind!
Possessed was he,
By Death's kind -
To forever torment she.

Bleak stormy dreary eve,
Where an ominous draft -
Set Death's yarn to weave,
Death's conniving craft.

Spirits had swallowed he,
Consuming his soul -
And burdening she,
So the funeral bells may toll.

This phantasm he may abide,
Love's ending scythe -
Against her butchered hide,
The forces Death may writhe.

And behind that home,
Just down the little road -
The blood may roam,
For the marriage she abode.

Somebody please tell me why I miss someone who has hurt me so much.
Unforgivably and unlawfully has he treated me – and demolished my life with his icy touch.
So why do I miss him with this ache in my stomach and with tears in my eyes?
O why O why? When he caused my childhood’s demise?

Lilac winter skies
My warm skin against cold fists
Handprints left on me

Purple finger prints
Embedded into my arm
That's how you showed love

Loved you in the fall
Was scared of you by winter
Stayed until summer

Science has told me
In seven years, I'll have skin
Never touched by you

Patiently waiting
For the day filled with relief
That will never come

She showed up limping and my hackles were raised.
I know that limp.
I know that gaze; 1000 yards away.
...(what happened?)...
She could hardly sit down, kept shifting her weight side to side, unable to find comfort, even on a padded bar stool.

"He's a good guy," she said.
"I don't know why...where it came from...I tried to do everything right."

"Trick-***-**-*****!! Lucky I don't **** you."

"At least I've still got my teeth," she offered.

I listen with an open heart to her,
say it's not her fault.
She knows, but why does this keep happening?
I wish I had an answer.

She flinched as I touched her shoulder.
I see now that this, too, was violence.  Physical invasion.
Blurred lines of cruelty and concern, warmth and wickedness.

"No one will believe me...cause he's a good guy..."

I hear you and I believe.

I never thought my mentality could be torn to such an extent.
Worse than the slaps
The shoves
the kicks
the punches

I went in for Joy
I had hope
never thought I could live a life so exhausted

Stress is the word of the day. Every day
But its so overdone
It goes beyond anxiety.
Fear
helplessness

Every cent I earn goes to the family we were supposed to be
creating
Now its all going to the family I wish I could be
deserting

How can I love her when I come home and
“You're a *******”
“Where were you all day?”
“You're a *******”

I'm a *******. I'm a ******* *******.
I'm gone to often, I don't dress nice, always on my phone
have to many **** friends
don't care enough
never clean
smell horrible
can't perform

don't love her enough

Tell me a way to show my love
Tell me
I want to know
because maybe it will get her to stop
maybe it will get her to
be who I told “I do”

It was all mental for a while
I thought when you broke it was like
in half
I didn't know there were
shatters
tears
splits

explosions

My identity was numb by the time she started physically
my friends and family believe the rumors
******* has addicted another husband
I don't have what it takes be a
“real man”

No hope, no reason, no soul
her life
her punching bag
her creativity

Don't tell me women can't physically abuse
they're not dumb
You get punched, slapped, kicked
so you grab her

see you in a year when you get out
she called in and there was marks on
her arms from your hands

now you're the guy who has no pride
I haven't had one for a while
If I did I would have been locked up
two years ago

But I also don't have a me
so its easier
It hurts yes
but I'm in more pain when I think about not being
able to see my boy

Are you sorry for things you've done?
For the violent attacks on your little son?
"It'll make you a man" that's what you said
As you kicked him and beat him around the head?
Or do you still think that it's ok
To treat your family that way?
More secrets hidden over years gone by?
Will you truly repent before you die?
Well, forgiveness to you isn't mine to give
After all your crimes do you really want to live
With the consequences of what you've done?
You blame it on trauma from carrying a gun?
But you beat your wife and you beat your kid
There's just no excuse for what you did
You hide behind your public face
Little man, you're a disgrace
You thought that this was buried in the past
But karma's a ***** and she's catching you fast
For the people you pretend to have been your brothers
Here's the kicker pal, some of us are mothers
Here comes the reckoning for what you've done
For the torture you visited upon your son
So don't blame the job for what you did
Newsflash - a warrior doesn't hit kids!

at eighteen
you walked away from
your house
and darling,
you were so brave.
you were always so brave.

i can imagine just how hard
it must have been for you
to walk away.
from your angry father
and your depressed mother.
you never wanted to leave her behind
but you needed to go.
you heard your own heart in your ears.
and your shaky legs,
you first needed to save yourself.

embrace yourself.
when he first touched your face
you thought you might explode
into small pieces of fireworks.
no one has ever made you feel
like he did
and right at that moment,
for the first time in your eighteen years,
you felt contented.

and when he walked you home
and pulled you into a tight hug,
you could hear your father's violence
from the back of your mind.

now, it is new years eve
and you are standing in the middle of the night beach,
your feet against the soft sand.
you hear the waves rushing back and forth,
trying to touch your toes,
and when they finally do,
you are pulled under.

you are thinking about him.
the boy who made you feel
like a firework.
the same boy who left
without a word.
it's been a long time since he's been on your mind.

and out of the blue
you remember that rainy day
when you closed the front door behind you
and walked towards the station
with the small suitcase tightly clutched in your hand

for a moment
you've have forgotten the brave girl
with eyes determined as a dark storm.

breathing in the smell of the sea,
you stare into a dark endless horizon.
you cannot see a thing.
it's a never ending abyss
and for a minute
you wonder if
you are still brave.

you are brave, my love.
you are brave.
you have always been so brave.

You used to be the man of my dreams
Now you're the man in my nightmares it seems
There was once a time when you would hold me tight
But now your embrace only fills me with fright
With your words like swords dripping with spite
My chronic demoralization is your delight
How could our love bring us so much pain
When both of us hurting is making us insane
Must I step up to be the bigger person here
When I know that letting you go is facing my fear