I love you and I used to could talk about it
But now it feels like manual labor
forming orders inside my mouth.
I want to say “when did it all come to be so hard?”
But it has always been this way, hasn’t it?
reasons Reasons REASONS
For bizarrely monogamous reasons
it has always been hard to talk about the way
I love you.
We were married and that was
reasons.
And then we were married but IN LOVE and that was
Reasons.
Then we were divorcing and HURTING and that was
REASONS.
And now we are friends and have all new
ReAsOnS

I wonder: Can the „I“ be fixed whilst being a „we“?
Or will you fix yourself, reducing myself to just me?
Will that, then, be forever so?
Will you take what‘s yours and left of you and go?
I will have neither options nor choices,
I‘ll be stripped of what I value and cherish.
What will be left? Echoes of distant voices
from a fairer past that once was but now did perish.

Most of all I‘ll hope for one thing, should it ever be this way:
That you could master to respect and love yourself; every coming day.

People always say
You realize what you had when its gone
Love
But what if love wasn't gone
What if you were apart
What if all it was
Was a piece of your heart
Just something just wanted
But never thought to start

It's this recorder playing in my head
Saying what has happened to your family
You get it too
You'll be torn apart

A boy sits alone
cornered by the conflict
darkness pervades the room
silence cradles his crying

A mother sits alone
in the corners of her mind
darkness pervades her life
silence cradles her crying

Together they sit alone
in silence
waiting for the light to pervade
their darkness

I got married in 2015
a journey I started
I thought I met my dear
She barked fear

I got scared
as I had dared
Love turned unknown
Fights were homegrown

no memories to look behind
no feelings stood behind
I made my commitment long
Emotions all went wrong

15 to 19 seemed like a decade
everyday looked like a parade
No where near was my wife
Faith in God marched my life