you were here and gone so fast
it felt too soon but your presence calmed me
the second you left I felt distressed
my heart was drug behind you
when you walked away
I wanted to follow and cling to you
and never let you go
you ease my mind and I forget my pain
every single second I’m with you
I’m lost, helpless and afraid without you
when I leave you it’s a struggle
my mind shuts down and I panic
the world caves in and I can’t breathe
I want to be in your arms again
I need to feel you beside me again

when shall i learn that a line must be drawn
for the sake of my sanity
how can i accept my own demise due to my service of others?
i must wash my hands clean of the guilt i possess
for i harm no one as greatly as myself

i swim in oceans of my misery and drown in pools of my sorrow
terror fills my lungs and breaks away at the tissue in them

¨careful!¨ i scream
i cannot allow myself to fall victim to my own mind
the racing and pumping of my thoughts breaking down the barriers i have built
there is nothing left to protect my self-esteem
no armed guards to stop the negativity in its tracks
no brick wall to block the sadness from reaching me

dangerous. is the only world i can use to describe my thoughts
a battlefield of mines bursting with anger
sticks of dynamite, disguised as flowers to lure and destroy
the question is, who are they meant to hurt?

are they meant to agitate me further to turn my back on myself?
refusing the possibility that happiness can be found?
or are they meant to bring pain to others?
to keep me in control of the opinions and decisions of my peers?
does she aim to help or control?

perhaps, my mind is losing track of what i was thinking
allowing me room to doubt myself
is my mind trying to convince me that i am the parasite in the lives of others,
feeding off of their souls
i believe she is right
to tell me that i do things in order to gain
she tells me, that i do not wish to help, only to hurt

i understand now that i am up against myself
left up to my own devices
no one is under obligation to assist me in battling my demons
i will struggle and fight, until my last breath
to let my own mind defeat me, is to allow defeat inside of my own fortress

i will never be unarmed again

The stars, with all their power,
are falling like Himalayan roses.
Tonight the marble moon is burning,
mirroring the hazel flames in your eyes.

Soon the twin shadows of Gemini
will soar overhead.

While the world unravels
like a crimson dress,
tell me the moment—
the moment you knew life was good.

Dust storms, spirits, shadows
will bleed across the dawn.
Inside this truck let me cradle your heart;
beneath the darkness I’ll be your armor.

Up the sleeves of our feelings,
night no longer terrifies—
cling to the hem of my words
as streetlights spill over skin and memory.

Oh, these shadows, shadows, shadows…
I feel fear as fiercely
as I feel the fire in your eyes,
while the red sky drops like razor blades.

Until we’re clothed in a single flame,
tell me you belong to me.
There is only this night:

the marble moon in flames,
stars collapsing around us.

Turn the radio up—one last song—
and let its blaze of sound
meld perfectly with the fading.

I sprinkled sunflower petals in the warm water,
to make it gold.
Then dipped my body quietly in the bathtub,
to wash my tainted soul.  
The morning light peeked through the lemon coloured glass,
while the fading fate dissolved in the pearly waves of my lash.
My lifted hand reached for the sunlight,
the feeble fingers swayed like dandelions.
A swollen gaze perched on the broken mirror,
a burning sensation impregnated my chafed lips; turning them bitter.
The beauty they preach about is not divine,
nothing in this world stays sublime.
The saffron tinted ancient walls,
kissed the amber tiled floor
Everything fire; everything gold,
yet no power can assuage the murkiness of my soul.
My dear Van Gogh how could you think?
that the yellow, if you eat, will lift your spirits?

S.O.S.
we're in distress
require immediate assistance.

Come quick as you can
tell your captain, Old Man
and pardon my insistence.

We're sinking fast
our ship won't last
despite our best resistance.

But as long as she floats
get ready your boats
to salvage our existence.

C.Q.D.
please talk to me
as it is, we aren't left much persistence.

Ms. Society,
    when in need, you're the Apple,
-in her eye...

After a fill,
     flung, tossed-away just another piece,
-of her garbage.