You are here
But he's not
And I getting off too
And I am so sure you'd like to know why, and I will tell you

I'm back into the nineties
Before Facebook was on the face of the world and many were facing books more than faces on the Facebook
Enthralling myself back there, can cry
Feels like to kneel down but will stand for a while
Standing in the corridor
Facing an open door
Body inside, body with no life
The pain grows deeper into myself
See the tears of the broken heart and a silent cry
Mumbling with pain inside

I just closed my eyes, felt so weak
wanted to stand but started  to tremble
wasn't crying but heard the voice of my soul like a whistle
Heart beating so slow
Hear the noise of crying voices
My mind far faraway from my being,
Time passing, like a hand waving,  from a train I wanted to be on
Murmuring in distress, wish I could take a ride away
Leaving these streets behind me

Found myself down on the floor
Saw nothing but a black cloud rolling like a ball
Tried to open my eyes, oops its was already open but couldn't see,
Tried to call my mom but i lost my breath
Wasn't weak but I couldn't stand
Wasn't blind but I couldn't see
Wasn't dead but couldn't feel anything

Sometimes Life is so hard to bear alone
My daddy, He was my inspiration
My correction and my direction
My road that l could run
Looking at me, my mom, my sister, my brothers..all crying he was gone
He left us in blood sweat tears
In hopes that I could be a ripe for the harvest
But I still hope I will be a good father, just like he was

The black cloud of winter
Lightning and roaring thunder
Striking me with a strong fear and shiver
Wish I could take my way to summer
To the green places of Eden
But mom said its okay, That's what life is all about
I changed my pain into wisdom
Instead of this dead nightmare started to live my dreams
Imagine smiling after a slap in the face
then think of doing that 24 hours a day

She was a master gardener and she is, tend to every leaf removing the weeds placing me into windows of opportunity so I could lean towards the sun that I can never forget  that
THE SKY IS THE LIMIT
Planting kisses on my cheeks hugs on my back, Growing her love on me the best way she knew how, Like a father, like a mother, 2 in 1

She said whats done is done, what you gotta do is to run
cos a journey of a thousand miles is not fun
Take a stand don't be so weak
Open your eyes you not blind
Feel the pain and let go
Open the gates and discover a way
You are what you want your life to be
You can imprison yourself take the keys and make yourself free
Flowers are plenty, this is summer fly over them like a bee

This was my mom, I am here because she gave me what I wanted
This spate of inspiration that changed my world
We all need that
We all need that
We all need someone to show us the way, wondering in the world now giving us courage to take a look into the sky, birds flying, stars shining and see that there is no need to cry
We all need that
we all need that
That world changing order for global turn up
Bringing life to the dead's darkest nights
Standing stronger to win all the fights
Till the sun will rise again and make us see the lights
And become a newborn soul that's right.

when it's dark enough
for the stars to be invisible
and my eyes still open wide
don't shut, don't dream
i feel like i'm falling
in the bottomless pit
where the darkness embraces me
and i can't tear out of it
but shiver uncontrollably
unstoppable, i look for the sharp
edge of the frindly enemy
in the drawer
inside the cupboard,
and I know, it's my short term memory,
Cannot find it,
panic,
heavy breaths,
anger,
tears,
anguish,
unlucky for the day,
unlucky, no scars,
yet.