You aren't the first to tell me that...
So I'm trying to forgive and forget.
But it's hard.
It's hard when someone you love
Tells you that your feelings aren't reasonable.
Like I don't already know that...
Feelings aren't always about logic and fact.
Sometimes people just feel things.
Sometimes for stupid reasons.
You don't have to understand why.
I just thought you cared enough
To want to make me feel better.
Instead you let me return to my head
And torture myself for hours.
You left me there when I just needed
To be held for a moment.
I just needed to hear
That everything was okay.
I just needed to know
That you still loved me,
And that you didn't want me to be uncomfortable.
I know all that should be a given.
Sometimes a gentle reminder just helps...
And keeps me out of the dark.
I'm trying my best to not be
The anxious, self conscious mess
That I always am.
I want to turn it off...
But I don't always win that fight,
And I'm really sorry...
And I already hate myself enough
Every time I do fail.
I'm trying.
Please don't give up on me too...

humans are complex beings
they can talk,
they can make tools,
and they can do just about
whatever they want
but they are born into a world
of luxuries and disappointments

I got taken aside
told that I had won in life
offered roses as a token.

I never liked roses.

I wont turn you down even when you have let me down multiple times and continue to,

and that's the only thing we both can count on.

I can't speak loud
Sun that hide behind the clouds
Sight keeps going down
In emptyness, I've drown.

Are we really friends??
Attention you can't lend
Metal that can be bent
Bond made by lie, with rust it ends.

Fibers in my chest are weak
Fragile vase that leaks
Mask that is tough and fierce
You got me mentally and emotionally pierced.

I'm in happiness, but also in pain
Inside my vase, a world with an unending rain
When flood over flows, through my eyes it drains,
Behind a mask, it can be hidden and leaves no stain.

Powdered skin,
Brush strokes,
Go coat
those desperate pokes
The shakey nature
Of made up favors
So playful
And able
We are
To Make the devil
Weak in the knees
As he does me,
So what if you suffer
You are but a drop
In an endless sea
No one will notice
When you drop
And you bleed

The disappointment of your own mistakes
Is greater than any let down from a friend
It is a cruel reminder that sometimes
you aren't capable of accomplishing
everything you set out to do
and that sometimes its yourself that gets in the way
and the worst part is you have no one to blame