Coughing,
grasping for walls
and promises I already broke.
Said I’d quit—
but tonight,
I wanted silence more than strength.

Panic hits,
then slips.
Your name dissolves
with every breath I steal from my lungs.
I wave off the world,
sink into smoke,
and call it peace.

One star streaks
across my high.
I don’t wish.
I just watch—
hoping morning forgets
like I finally did.

one day
i might just disappear
its crystal, transparent, clear
nothing lasts forever here

seasons change like a light switch
days fleeting, s p r e a d i n g out their wings
i wont answer my telephone for weeks
i'm scared to talk to people
vulnerability makes me weak.

missing people are never truly gone
they've got to be somewhere
paris, berlin, helsinki, oslo, nouakchott
san francisco, caracas, mexico city
dead, deep in the ground
alive, mentally sound
fossilising.

one day, i might be free
every day is a dream when
nothing feels quite real

If I could halt the turning sky,
fade into the hush between stars,
I’d slip beneath the weight of thought,
no name, no need, no scars.

Just me, the dark,
and all I’ve left unsaid—
a quiet place
where time forgets to tread.

Oh Lord my God, that I would disappear
That I could hide inside your heart
And be content to rest in your presence.
That I could be still and silent
That I could melt in the heat of your love.
You are hidden in the bread and wine,
Yet present all the same
And still, you reveal your heart
To those who humbly came.
May I imitate your life
As I try to reflect this love
And share your heart with others.
Increase Lord, until we are
Of one mind, one heart, one soul.
Until the two parts fade away
And the day I am finally whole.
Let me lay my head upon your breast
Where your heart speaks to me
And where I find perfect peace and rest.
Lord, that where you are, there I may also be.

I want to erase the fingerprints
I leave on your days, weeks, and years,
To drain through the gaps
In your floorboards,
To float through life,
Unable to embrace but
Too incorporeal to be slapped.

I need to

go.

I struggle between the truth and peace
Balancing on this crystal beam—
So fragile, on the edge of breaking
As I try to make myself lighter
To keep it in place.

I keep it in place
And it keeps me in pieces.
I would shrivel to nothing
For this.
I would disappear—
Just say the word.

I’m sorry.
How many more times
Must I say it?

I’m sorry.
You never said that to me.

I know I’m the one in the wrong
But it hurts like white-hot tongs
And I cannot ever sing you this song
So I let go of the pain and move on.

All the world and its beauty.,
I made you my world with all might..!!
All the darkness and the night.,
I took you all in my sight..!!
All the promises and its hopes,
I vowed it all tied tight to ropes..!!
All the mountains and the majesticity,
I stood all tall at your call.!!
All the rivers and the greenery,
I flowed for you painting your life a scenery.!!
All the waves and the kisses to the shore,
I embraced and gave all more.!!
All the flowers and the fragrances,
I bore the thorns holding my patience.!!
All the streams and the melodies,
I sang for you making my life a parody.!!
All the music and the tunes,
I danced leaving myself in fumes.!!

I tried to rise and shine,
Realized its all for vain..!!

And for the person now I am,
I can't quit for I lost my wit.!!

Hence
I wanna disappear
I wanna be unseen
I wanna be unheard

Disappearing like a bubble on that wave,
Like a Dew on that leaf.

I wanna disappear..

All the world and its beauty.,
I made you my world with all might..!!
All the darkness and the night.,
I took you all in my sight..!!
All the promises and its hopes,
I vowed it all tied tight to ropes..!!
All the mountains and the majesticity,
I stood all tall at your call.!!
All the rivers and the greenery,
I flowed for you painting your life a scenery.!!
All the waves and the kisses to the shore,
I embraced and gave all more.!!
All the flowers and the fragrances,
I bore the thorns holding my patience.!!
All the streams and the melodies,
I sang for you making my life a parody.!!
All the music and the tunes,
I danced leaving myself in fumes.!!

I tried to rise and shine,
Realized its all for vain..!!

And for the person now I am,
I can't quit for I lost my wit.!!

Hence
I wanna disappear
I wanna be unseen
I wanna be unheard

Disappearing like a bubble on that wave,
Like a Dew on that leaf.

I wanna disappear..